Week in Review - FOR MELISSA

Jeez - you make one declaration that you're going to make weekly posts and then some people start to expect it...


1. An Explanation

Some of you have wondered about my disdain for Elmo. Well, his high-pitched baby-talk is annoying and the fact that they now devote a third of the show to him is even more so. (Yes, if I am home sick I enjoy watching Sesame Street. Or used to...) Besides, what the hell was ever wrong with Grover, people!? Well, earlier this week NPR explained it all. To compete with the onslaught of annoyingly-voiced kids show stars around that time, Sesame Street had to come up with something to go up against the likes of Barney. And that's what they created. And I realized in that moment that is precisely why I dislike him. He's a tiny, furry, red Barney.

2. Grass is Always Greener

It was inevitable, really. Prior to the Great Gutting of Gert's Living Room 2008-09 I had a small, unpaid, part-time job reading design, decorating and architecture magazines and websites. I also constantly suffered from house envy. But once the GGGLR began (Hmmm, pronounce that acronym and it sounds like someone drowning. Coincidence?) I really had no desire to read how easy it is to hang crown molding or recover an antique chair with vintage curtains you find at the flea market.

Well, now that GGGLR is mostly complete, I have dipped my toe back into the glossy pages and interwebs and damn if my house envy isn't back. One of my favorite websites for this is Apartment Therapy. Why "Apartment" Therapy I do not know, because it's mostly small houses. Small, real houses where real people live. And this week there it was - my newest victim of house envy. A restored bungalow with the perfect mixture of craftsman, mid-century and art deco furniture. Comfy rooms in earthy colors where nothing is overly matched but it all just sort of goes together. My favorite was the busy, hodge-podge kitchen that looks like people actually cook in it. And that pot rack? Fantastic. If Marie had only seen this, she could have found a use for Jess's coffee table and let him keep it.*

3. Groundhog Day? Please?

Most of this week was just irritating as all hell. Nothing horribly bad. Just annoying. Tuesday especially. Because the only thing better than over-sleeping and running out the door dressed like an eight year old boy, is doing so with wet hair AND meeting your neighbor's new - and cute - housemate who is friendly and wants to chat while you're running late and look like a drowned rat / eight year old boy.

Then there was much website drama at work that afternoon. Which I handled oh-so maturely by sending my boss an email at 4:59 explaining said drama and then promptly turned off my computer and ran from the building like a big fat chicken...

Where I then got into my car and drove to my father's house so we could divide up all of the furniture and such that my grandmother didn't want to take to her new apartment. And of course that all devolved into drama - as these things often do when people transfer years of feelings and emotions onto inanimate objects instead of dealing with them like mature adults.

So yeah. A do-over for Tuesday would have been nice.

4. A New Low

So here I am on a Friday night babysitting and I just finished reading the new Vanity Fair with Robert Pattinson on the cover. I am officially 12. But, can I just say... yum! I have some friends, who will remain nameless (because they are big perverts!) who think that Taylor Lautner - the other male lead in the Twilight movies - is rather nice (and 17!). Well, they can have their buff, tan, shirtless (and underage!) wolf-boy. I will take a pale, scruffy-faced, messy-haired, vampire-man in a cable-knit sweater and wool pea coat over that any damn day. We're drawing names for Christmas gifts in my family this weekend and to the person who gets my name - I will gladly take enlarged prints of any of these so I can like totally frame them and like hang them in my locker...

5. Tumbling Down

So Monday was the 20th anniversary of the demise of the Berlin Wall. One of my very dearest friends grew up in what was once East Germany so it gave me a tangible reason to think about this event off and on throughout the week. Way more than I probably would have otherwise. And it made me realize how different our lives might be now if it hadn't happened. And how world-changing events don't just affect the big picture, they affect things and people on a much smaller scale for years and years after. And how all of us - no matter where or how we grew up - really aren't all that different when you get down to it. So Claudia, if the Wall coming down means, if nothing else, that I now get to enjoy a cup of coffee and/or a glass of wine with you every few days, then for that I am thankful. Happy Anniversary.


* If someone (other than Katie!) knows what I'm referring to, then you get a gold star in your pop culture crown.

What I Learned This Summer - Part One. Or....

The Official Moment Wherein:

• My boss goes on vacation
• I can see the light at the end of the home renovation tunnel
• It's only 7 more days until the start of college football
• I recently went to see Julie and Julia so I'm reminded that I should be posting something on my blog so that Nora Ephron will one day find me interesting enough to turn into a movie...

No? Ok, moving on...

So, I've been negligent. But with good reason. Kinda. I've spent most of the summer thinking about what I'd like to be when I grow up, should that moment ever happen. And, when I haven't been doing that, I've been painting and wandering through Lowe Depot and obsessively reading about college football. It's been, like, the least girlie summer in history. But I have learned a lot. So, if anyone out there still remembers me, I give you Part One of the Top Five Lessons from the Summer of 2009:


1. I Suck at Balance:


Mostly I suck at balancing the different areas of my life. I'm always letting one of them consume my time and energy and in doing so let the others sit over in the corner and collect dust. And dog hair. Lots and lots of dog hair. I've always known that I do this, but never before this summer have I realized so clearly how dysfunctional I am about it.

The aforementioned home renovation tunnel prevents me from seeking paid help for my condition so until Dr. Phil starts penning an advice column in This Old House magazine, I'm kind of on my own to figure out how to fix it.

I also physically suck at balance. Startled out of bed a couple of weeks ago - by the producers of the dog hair that's collecting on the areas of my life I can't keep balanced - I stumbled into the living room to assess the identity of the person that must've been trying to break into the house and murder us all to warrant all the frantic damn barking. Turned out it was only a stray dog running loose on our street and in the process of my stumbling I clumsily ran one of my toes directly into the dog gate, breaking it slightly.

Points for irony: knowing that it wasn't an important enough toe (second-to-last on the left foot - a.k.a. the Little Piggy Who Had None) or a severe enough break to warrant a visit to the doctor, I just taped it. But I didn't have any medical tape handy for myself, so I swiped some from the other first aid kit in the house. The dog first aid kit. If one of them sprains a paw running through the house because I've woken them up at 2am over something stupid, then maybe I'll feel badly about it.

More points for irony AND bonus humiliation points: the next day I actually had a doctor's appointment. HOWEVER, let's just say that feet were not her area of specialty but that she did have an opportunity get a good look at my feet and asked what I had done. I told her and she said not to bother seeing a doctor whose area of specialty included feet because "unless you broke it off altogether, all they're going to do is tape it." She offered to re-tape the toe for me but said it looked like I had done a good job. I neglected to mention it was thanks to the dogs' first aid kit.


So, there you go, one lesson down and four to go. Hope you've had a good summer too.

Two Things Destroying / Restoring My Faith in Humanity

So first, the bad.

I lovingly refer to these two things as The Crap I Didn't Want to Know about in the First Place but It's Been Crammed Down My Throat So Much I Now Feel Compelled to Bitch about It Edition.

1. Dear Miss California and Mr. Trump and Mr. Hilton,

Please. All of you. Shut up. I don't care what any of your opinions are on gay marriage or topless photos or family values or pageant ethics or why the chicken crossed the road. You aren't doing the pageant community, the rich jackass community, or the gay community any favors with your respective bullshit. Besides, none of you seem competent enough to pick out your own earrings, hair pieces or clothing so I don't think you need to be speaking on national television about anything else.


2. Dear Parents on Meercat Manor Jon and Kate Plus 8,

I think I smell me some ratings whores. Reality TV is a fickle thing and you knew the free ride had to end sometime. Instead of creating scandal to get people to pay attention to you, maybe you should just repackage your show/family. Maybe become fundamentalists and have nine more kids. Or - better yet - make your kids design outfits and then have them compete against one another. You could get Perez Hilton to advise them and Miss California and Donald Trump to be the judges.

That I might actually watch.

And now for the good.

The Making Up for General World Crappiness, the Fact That Bluejays Have Been Ravaging My Vegetable Garden, and the Existence of Asshats Like Those Mentioned Above Edition.

1. The Obamas.

Yeah, I know. Yawn. Newsflash - Gert likes the president. But there are days when it just seems like the crappy state of the world just keeps getting crappier and I find myself slipping back into the dark, grouchy place I was in for eight years. But then. Then something happens and I remember that feeling I had back in the fall and the winter and I'm re-inspired. Granted, my re-inspiration may only be enough to kick some bluejay ass, but that'll do.

Arizona State Commencement Speech

Merced Commencement Speech (part 1)

2. OMG OMG OMG.

Glee. Did you watch it? Brilliant. Utterly brilliant. Deliberately and un-apologetically cliched and cheesy. Humor, drama, show tunes and my favorite song from 6th grade:

I haven't been this giddy about television since the Jane Austen series on PBS last year. What I didn't know until lunch yesterday, however, was that last night was not the premiere of a series they were going to air this summer, but only a sneak preview at a series for the fall. Tragic, but again, brilliant on the part of Fox because all I'm going to do this summer is remind you to go online and watch it. Aren't you lucky? Seriously, watch it.

Hey, Look at Me -

I'm a farmer!

The offical count (in case you were wondering)

Eggplants: 1

Tomato plants: 7

Bell Peppers: 7

Lettuce: 4

Zucchini: 3

Yellow Squash: 3

Strawberries: 2

Green beans: 4

Okra: 4

Cucumber: 4

Onions: 4

Basil: 1

Sage: 1

Rosemary: 1

Thyme: 1

Oregano: 1

Bags of soil and compost: 12

Trips to Lowe's and local garden store to get enough bags of dirt: 3

Pulled shoulder muscles from slinging bags of dirt: 1

Displaced garter snakes: 1

Days of rain delay: 11

Days of delay because I was told it was going to rain and it didn't but I'd already made other plans: 3

Neighbor inquires: 3

Mosquito bites: 6

Total number of hours to complete: 8

Total number of vegetables grown: TBD

Two Things. Ok, well, two things and then 32 more.

First - So, in my last post, when I said "if the rain holds off..." I apparently didn't realize that I had done something to anger every deity in the universe. It has not stopped raining since. I may take the two frames for my raised beds and use them to craft an ark.

Second - I've been busy with a big - but fun - project for work and haven't been around a computer much when I've had any free time and could also stay awake enough to type. Luckily Green Girl saved the day with another of her lists and so tonight while I should be doing laundry I'm doing this instead.

Now, here's the 32 more - a list about my reading habits. Or, the list in which I disgrace two high school AP English teachers and the good institution that gave me a college diploma...

1) What author do you own the most books by? Technically - Beatrix Potter. Adult fare - William Faulkner. I'm an English Major from the South, so it's only by default.


2) What book do you own the most copies of? I live in a house with less than 900 square feet. That is not an option. Over time, however, Walden, The Great Gatsby, The Elements of Style.


3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions? Nah. If you'd asked "Where you keep your books at?" then we'd have a problem...


4) What book have you read the most times in your life? Walden. Again, only by default. Not by choice.


5) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old? What was that, sixth grade? Help me, Katie! It was likely something by Judy Blume as well as anything by our favorite girl detective, Trixie Belden.


6) What is the worst book you've read in the past year? Breaking Dawn


7) What is the best book you've read in the past year? Right now I'm (finally) reading Prodigal Summer - I think it will probably end up being the best.


8) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be? An Inconvenient Truth, by Al Gore.


9) What book would you most like to see made into a movie? Hmmm... maybe A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. Something by David Sedaris - if done well - could be some crazy delicious fun.


10) What book would you least like to see made into a movie? Ah, if only we could turn back time, I would say Bridget Jones: the Edge of Reason... Otherwise I'm not sure - I think it's hard to do any good book justice with a movie just because of time constraints. But at the same time I don't mind at all when a good producer and director are able to capture the spirit of a book but not all of the story.


11) What is the most lowbrow book you've read as an adult? I think my Twilight addiction has been well-documented in this blog. BUT I do stand by it's overall story, quality of characters, etc. (despite Breaking Dawn). So, if that is the standard, I should also include anything I've read by Grisham and Brown.


12) What is the most difficult book you've ever read? Beloved. I just shook my head when Oprah put it in her book club and made it into a movie. What was she thinking?


13) Do you prefer the French or the Russians? Russians.


14) Roth or Updike? Not really familiar with either.


15) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers? Sedaris. Sedaris. Sedaris. And his sister, too!


16) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer? Shakespeare.


17) Austen or Eliot? Austen. Austen. Austen.


18) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading? All of the great works of the last decade. To this day I still have a hard time reading a novel without feeling that it's an assignment and I need to rush so that I can write the paper for it and then study for a poly sci test and then finish a geology lab and then clean my dorm room. I'm almost like, what, 87? You'd think that would have gone away by now... I have issues...


19) What is your favorite novel? There's something about The Great Gatsby that I just love. But I think technically it may only be considered a novella...


20) Essay? I guess some of Ann Lamott's books would be considered collections of essays. She's awesome. And I keep copies of a couple of sermons on file when I need a little inspiration.


21) Work of nonfiction? There's so many - I love nonfiction. A Walk in the Woods. I thought Tipping Point was great. I love Sarah Vowel's books. Also, Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers is (I SWEAR!) an awesome book.


22) Who is your favorite writer? Tom Stoppard. I would sit and read the phone book if he wrote it.


23) What is your desert island book? Besides How to Get off a Desert Island? Maybe James Joyce's Ulysses. It's something I've always wanted to read, but never had the time or energy to tackle it. For lighter fare - and if I could create my own collection/anthology - all of Nick Hornby's novels or the two Bridget Jones books because I could read them over and over again.


24) What are you reading right now? Poisonwood Bible and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and Urban Planning and Public Health (it's a real page-turner, trust me!).


25) What fictional character are you secretly in love with? Please - it's no secret. Mr. Darcy. And of course, Edward, my Mr. Darcy With The Very Pointy Teeth.


26) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature? Hell if I know.


27) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character. In college I had a Shakespeare course that was crazy hard. I studied endlessly for it and the papers and exams gave me much anxiety. So, while I don't remember any details of the dreams I do remember having several Shakespeare-related dreams because of that class. As a side anecdote (and proof!) I went to college with a now-famous actress and a long time ago I saw an interview with her where she was asked if the martial arts training for her role on a TV series was the hardest thing she'd ever done. She said "No - Intro to Shakespeare with Dr. Lisa McDonnell."


28) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you've seen? Speak of the devil... Troilus and Cressida. Yeah, beat that. It also serves as the answer to the question "What is the worst Shakespeare play you've ever seen?"


29) Favorite Play? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead by Tom Stoppard (so I guess Hamlet should be included too.) Good ole Will is popping up a lot on this list...


30) Favorite Poem? "i thank you God for this most amazing day," by e. e. cummings.


31) Favorite Short story? I don't know that they're favorites, but The Lottery and To Build a Fire always stuck with me - though I couldn't remember the title of the last one and literally Googled "short story dog man cold." Ta-da.


32) Who is the most overrated writer alive today? I have zero authority to judge this, but I'm going to say Dan Brown. The man crafts a thrilling plot and I loved The DaVinci Code, but I found a lot of the actual writing - especially much of the dialogue - to be, well, much less than thrilling.

Top Five Silly Things Currently Making Me Happy: The TV / Cute Boy Edition.

1. Awww, TBS, you shouldn't have!


Apparently my undying love and devotion to the show, My Boys, has become known to more than just the five people who read this blog because TBS has decided to air new episodes starting March 31st - the day before my birthday. Someone in televisionland loves me. If you're not watching it, please do. It's smart and cute and funny and the first two season are available on Netflix. Totally worth a spot in your queue. I promise.



2. Can you hear me now?

I just figured out that John Krasinski is the voice in those Blackberry / Verizon commercials. Makes me rethink my recent Pantech / AT&T purchase a little bit. And takes me back to a time when I almost switched my long distance carrier because of George Clooney...



3. I wish Al Gore really had invented the interwebs.

Because then I would be an even bigger groupie. (And no, as you can tell, he isn't Cute Boy #3. My admiration does have its limits...) Since getting DSL I officially no longer miss having cable. Had I known that almost every show I loved was online I would have ditched Comcast and my hamsternet a long, long time ago. My only beef? No episodes of What Not to Wear online. Why? Do they think anyone is actually going to purchase the entire season? Please. But regardless of potential DVD sales, the world should not be deprived of online viewing of Clinton Kelly in his complete, hour-long adorableness.



4. Eeeeddddwwwaaaaarrrrrdddd.

I had such high hopes of going to see all of the films nominated for Oscars this year. But as I mentioned in an earlier post, I failed miserably after seeing only one. I think this is my worst record yet and in my guilt and shame I briefly pondered NOT watching the awards show this year. I know. I said briefly. (I totally aced a "Who Wore This Oscar Dress" quiz on People magazine's website earlier this week, so seriously, who am I kidding?) So yes, of course I will be watching. But now, if for no other reason, than I just found out that my vampire crush will be presenting one of the awards.

5. Miiiissssterrr Daaaarrrrccyyyy.

Green Girl has been on a Pride and Prejudice kick this week and at one point incited a lively debate over who was the better Mr. Darcy - Kiera Knightly's newer model or the one and only Colin The Ideal Man Firth. I think we can all tell how my vote was cast. I also lobbied for her to create an All Darcy All The Time blog. And I was only kind of kidding. And am now wondering if the BBC or PBS has any of their miniseries available for online viewing...

Week in Review

1. Coughing up a lung or two
I'm experiencing some pre-springtime allergy issues. Constant scratchy throat for a week and now it's all in my chest and I'm all raspy sounding. I wish I sounded like Demi Moore - or even Rachel Ray - but it's a sound much more akin to Peppermint Patty. Adding to the fun is the continuous drama of our 80's era office park. They've been "working" on our decrepit heating system since before Christmas. Supposedly it's "fixed." However - the temperature in my office this past week: Monday - 80 degrees. Tuesday and Wednesday - 50 degrees. Thursday and Friday - 80 degrees. Needless to say, it's not helping the congestion. So, I'm home for at least the first half of the day. Right now I'm listening to a discussion about the mother of the octuplets on The View. Easy-bake oven office is sounding better by the minute.

2. Movies
I was hoping to get around to seeing at least a good chunk of the Oscar nominees before we find out who won what. Last Sunday I went to see Slumdog Millionaire. It's really good. This Sunday I went to see He's Just Not That Into You. OK. So, not really on the Oscar watch list. It was amusing. I do love me some Ben Affleck though. He was pretty dreamy in this movie but not in it nearly enough.

3. RIP
My two favorite-est magazines in the entire world have folded: Domino and Cottage Living. They were always full of colorful and interesting ideas for the home - real, tiny-to-normal-sized, homes. Their aesthetics were quite different from one another but provided the perfect combination of simplistic/traditional/antique and off-beat/urban/modern that exists in my house (or at least how I want it to exist). Domino was born from the pages of Lucky magazine and Cottage Living from the conglomerate that is Southern and Coastal Living magazines. From what I can tell, I'm genetically and culturally obligated to read Southern Living every month until I die (pronounced with two syllables). The problem with it though is that the homes they feature are enormous and rather beige so I am hoping that it will absorb some of the ideas from Cottage Living. We'll see I guess. I know they're just magazines. Pages of glossy, non-environmentally friendly paper. And I know that in this economy there are more important businesses to fret about. But it's just sad.

4. Dinner conversation
I found myself almost dead center of the long table of people I eat with on Friday nights. The discussions on either side of me were lively and varied and I was enjoying switching back and forth listening to one end of the table and then the other. At one point though I found myself simultaneously in - what I quickly figured out were - two very different conversations.

Guy to my right: "I don't think I would enjoy having a uterus."

Guy to my left: "You can usually find them on EBay."

Turns out the conversation on my left was about antique china. The other was not.


5. Everything I've wanted to say
My crush on Seth Meyer grows. His "Really!?! with Seth" bit on SNL Weekend Update Saturday was a perfect commentary on the whole Michael Phelps drama. Genius.

Happy Friday

Greetings from the end of the non-profit version of Hell Week: January Grant Report Submitting Week! a.k.a. Thank You Sooo Much for the Chunk O' Change Last Year Here's a Bunch of Pages Explaining How We Spent it and Ooooh See We Made it Look All Fancy So Would You Pretty Please Give Us More Now.

Woo. Hoo. (said as I try to figure out how to drink coffee without lifting my head off my desk).

My brain is a bit scrambled and I started pondering the gloriousness of what a nice glass of Jack Daniels might taste like later this evening around ohhh 8:17 this morning - so yeah - I think my Friday is off to a good start...

In honor of the day - here's a top-five random list of crap (plus photos!) to catch you up on our time apart:

1. The Peer Pressure - it Taunts Me.

Here's a conversation I seem to be having a lot these days:

Friend/Relative /Acquaintance/Passerby on the Sidewalk: Hey! You're on Facebook, right?

Gert: Uh, no.
Friend/Relative /Acquaintance/Passerby on the Sidewalk: OMG! How can you not be on Facebook?! I want friend/poke/throw a snowball at you!

Gert: What the hell are you talking about?!?

Friend M: Are you on Facebook?! You better NOT be on Facebook. We're the only two left who aren't - DON'T DO IT!

Gert: I'm not!

Friend M: Seriously. I mean it.

Gert: OK!

I feel like I'm starring in some after-school special. I did find out, however, that a former elementary school crush is on Facebook.

(I used to woefully sing along to this album because of him)

so the scales may be tipping...

2. Meat
I think I managed to eat a portion of one of every animal in God's kingdom over the holidays. I am not (obviously) a vegetarian, but I don't make a habit of eating a lot of meat. And I recently learned that what I am is a "flexitarian" (yes, it's a word). And I don't know if there's a flexitarian wagon to fall off of, but I guarantee that if there is, somewhere between November 27 and January 1, my fat ass did a triple gainer off said wagon. So now I've been trying to seriously limit my meat eating. Trying. The results have varied. This week I've done really well though.

Why am I a flexitarian? (yes, it's a word). Is it because I want to be a vegetarian but have no self discipline? No. Well... I don't have any self-discipline, but that needs it's own post... No, it's partly because I don't like to cook meat. (It's icky and there's a lot of room for error. Vegetables are far more forgiving.) But also it's more for environmental reasons. Carbon footprint and whatnot. But really, I really have no interest in telling you any of that at this moment either. My only interest here is to say that tonight while enjoying my glass of Jack Daniels - I will be partaking in some tasty, tasty barbecue...

3. The Cat's Pajamas. And Bathrobe. And Slippers.
Guess who made a visit to Nashvegas? Craig Ferguson!

Guess who went to see his show? I did!
How was it? As glorious as you might imagine. If he'd brought Tim Gunn out as a special guest I might have just decided to die happy right then.

4. Welcome to the 21st Century!
My New Year's Resolution was to upgrade my technology.

Step one: Get actual/non-dial-up internet service.

Result: Done! DSL - where have you been all my life!

Step two: get a grown up/non-pay-as-you-go cell phone plan and a cell phone with a QWERTY keyboard so that much-preferred text messaging will not be so damn annoying.

Result: Expensive! And difficult to figure out my options! Forget it! Don't mind me - I'll just sit here quietly and peck out a text to my brother to meet me after the Craig Ferguson show! Oh, uh, hey there drunken hillbilly hitting on my friend and maybe me in a minute if said brother doesn't show up! Pay no attention as I text him a quick "PLZ HURRY"! 7-5-5-5-9-9-9-9! Dammittohell!

Oh, hi new Pantech Slate I ordered this morning - where have you been all of my life!

Step three: get an iPod.

Result: Oy. Vey. Head still hurts from cell phone decision. Stay tuned...


5. Several Deadly Sins.
A couple of weekends ago I went in search of boots. Black, pointy-toed, spikey-heeled boots. I did not find said boots. But, there is a universal shoe rule that states if you are planning to buy boots and you do not buy boots, you may buy TWO pair of regular shoes instead. So I got a very cute, but nondescript pair of little brown suede flat loafery things. And then... I found these:
Tweed. Ballet flats. Their adorableness knows no bounds.

But then... Anti-Facebook Friend M comes in with her new pair of Coach rain boots that are crazy-weird and totally made of awesome and I am so jealous. To make matters worse it has been rainy and snowy and sloppy ALL WEEK and not only can the Boundlessly Adorable Tweed Flats not be worn, but the Rain Boots of Awesome can. Envy! Wrath! Go ahead and throw in gluttony and sloth in there too for good measure.

You know, this may have tipped the Facebook scales a bit further... Is Spite a cardinal sin?

Happy Friday (finally!)

Playlists

This post is a bit anticlimactic now, but throughout the presidential campaign, election, and pre-inauguration time I kept hearing songs appropriate to the events which stuck in my head or songs would inspirationally pop into my head and I would sing them in the shower or to the dogs.

On the way down to the beach I started to make a list of them, thinking I would put them up on here when I got back and ask for additional suggestions. Well... we can all see that didn't happen. I did, however, manage to pull together two rather lengthy CDs full for the inauguration party. There were so many people in the house though that I doubt anyone could hear/notice that music was playing.

So... in case you've been thinking "Gee, I'd really like a couple of playlists full of completely random, yet inspirational and/or bouncy music to remind me of the past year" here are my suggestions. At this point some are beyond obvious and borderline cliche, but I like them anyway. Enjoy. And... thanks to the magic of YouTube - I've linked them so you can go listen/watch for yourself.


List One.

1. YES WE CAN - Will I Am and friends
This was adapted from Obama's concession speech after the New Hampshire primary. It was one of the most moving things I'd ever heard and if I hadn't already decided I was voting for him long before that - I would have decided to that night. I don't normally enjoy celebrity-endorsed public service-type things, but this is good and I'm so glad someone did something like this with it.

2. HIGHER GROUND - Stevie Wonder

3. HEAVENLY DAY - Patty Griffin
In my next life I want to be able to sing like this woman. Plus, she supposedly wrote this song about her dog. How great is that?

4. IF YOU WANT TO SING OUT, SING OUT - Cat Stevens

5. WHAT'S GOING ON - Marvin Gaye

6. WHERE IS THE LOVE? - Black Eyed Peas

7. ONE - Mary J. Blige & U2
My love of U2 goes without saying - but that Mary J. Blige. I'd listen to her sing the phone book. And such a cool combination with him and for that song.

8. AMERICA - Simon & Garfunkel

9. WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS - Ben Harper

10. SHED A LITTLE LIGHT - James Taylor

11. THE RISING - Bruce Springsteen
I've always had a healthy respect for Bruce, but he's never been anyone I've gone out of my way to listen to. Until this song. And this specific performance of it, actually. I get almost evangelical when I hear this song. I said almost...

12. THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE - Odetta

13. SHINING STAR - Earth, Wind & Fire

14. LOVE & HAPPINESS - Al Green
This is one of my all-time favorite songs ever for any reason or occasion.

15. PINK HOUSES - John Mellencamp

16. HAMMER AND A NAIL - Indigo Girls

17. SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED - Stevie Wonder



List Two.

1. A CHANGE IS GONNA COME - Sam Cooke
Everyone else and their cat is on YouTube singing this song, but I couldn't find one of him actually singing that didn't involve a really awful montage of some sort.

2. BEAUTIFUL DAY - U2

3. EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING - Lauren Hill
I just always feel a little cooler / less dorky when I listen to Lauren Hill.

4. I JUST WANT TO CELEBRATE - Rare Earth

5. TOUCH THE SKY - Kanye West
Dude is such a colossal jack-ass, but he puts together a good tune.

6. LOVE TRAIN - The O'Jays

7. JOY TO THE WORLD - Three Dog Night

8. EVERYDAY PEOPLE - Sly & the Family Stone

9. PEOPLE GET READY - Curtis Mayfield & the Impressions

10. WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD - Willie Nelson

11. LOVE & HOPE - Ozomatli

12. IF I HAD A HAMMER - Peter, Paul & Mary
I always feel a lot less cool / more dorky when I listen to Peter, Paul & Mary, but that's OK...

13. BRAND NEW DAY - Van Morrison
Not on YouTube. Tragic. It's a really pretty song.

14. I NEED TO WAKE UP - Melissa Etheridge
It's the song from Inconvenient Truth. I like it on it's own, but I also knew I needed a little tribute to Al in here somewhere.

15. THE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGIN' - Bob Dylan

16. PEACE, LOVE & UNDERSTANDING - Elvis Costello

17. AT LAST - Etta James
Although, after seeing Beyonce's performance of this at the first inaugural ball and her interview after, I feel like I should have included her version too. She was too cute.

Enough? Probably more than. I would have liked to have included something by Johnny Cash. He did a great spoken-word song/poem thing about "I am America." It's pretty cool, but odd at the same time. Other things missing - Dixie Chicks and John Legend and my mother had a request for Aretha Franklin that did make the final cut either.

Part of me also wanted to include the quintessential anti-Bush tirade - Green Day's "American Idiot" but I tried to keep it all as positive as possible. I'll just have to be happy doing what I normally do, which is leave it in the CD changer in the car and turn it up to 11 when I'm sitting next to a Hummer at a traffic light.

Perhaps our new president can inspire me enough to grow up and stop doing petty crap like that. But I think he'll need a second term. Ooo... then I can make two more playlists...

I have a serious case of holiday-itis

But I also can't think of anything to post.

So as I seem apt to do these days, I swiped this from Green Girl (see here and here). Of course, I swiped it and then proceeded to nitpick - "Why are there only 99?" "Bounced a check?!? That's sort of rude to ask, isn't it?!?" Because it's not like beggars should really be choosers, right? It's either this or maybe today I can wax nostalgic about Shaun Cassidy or Rick Springfield or something. No? OK then, let's give this a go....

Things you've already done: bold
Things you want to do: italicize
Things you haven't done and don't want to: leave in plain font

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band - or musical. - Musical. And if a Go-Go's lip-sync band in the 5th grade with this chick counts, then yes on the other as well.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland/world - world.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. - Not well, but yes.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning. - Who would italicize this!?
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. - I'd rather have food poisoning.
18. Grown your own vegetables. - But I plan to this summer.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France. - Was in the Louvre just long enough to see it and the Venus Di Milo.
20. Slept on an overnight train. As a child between Nashville and Orlando. In my 20's from Milan to Paris. My cabin mate was a rude Japanese guy who SMOKED and talked on his cell phone the whole time. Somewhere in the Alps I considered smothering him and/or throwing him from the train car.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitchhiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. - In my defense, ill-tempered is still ill.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping. - No one needs to see that.
27. Run a Marathon. - I've pretty much walked one though.
28. Ridden a Gondola in Venice. - The simple answer is no (it's really expensive!). I was, however, offered a "free" ride after hours by a particularly cheeky gondolier, but was wise enough to decline.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run. - But I can punt a mean football.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language. - see #14.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. - Very briefly. And then I decided to buy a house...
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person. - So. Not. Worth. It. But I did see a nun riding a bike while I was there, so I guess it was kind of worth it...
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David. - I cried.
41. Sung karaoke. - No one needs to hear that.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa. - Very high on the to-do list.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance. - Again, who would italicize this?
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. - See #17.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling. - Snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies. - Never made it out of Brownies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Gotten flowers for no reason. - From someone I actually wanted to get flowers from? No.
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy. - Yes, but it was recently decapitated and gutted.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten Caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London. - I think so. I was jet lagged. I'll have to check the scrapbook.
77. Broken a bone. - My toe and probably one in my foot the second week of my freshman year in college. Never go barefoot at a frat party.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle. - A Harley. For my 30th birthday.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person. - It's right up there on the list with Africa.
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican. - And I bought this chick's husband a plastic ink pen with a clear end filled with water and a little Pope inside that bounced up and down. (They were engaged at the time and he was in the process of converting to Catholicism. It seemed only appropriate...)
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible. - I'm an Episcopalian. We don't do that. (kidding...)
86. Visited the White House. And now I actually want to. But I have spent some time next door in the old executive building. NOT stalking Al Gore... Really... I promise...
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. - No, but I came close with that Japanese guy on the train.
88. Had chickenpox.
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury.- would looooove to do that.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club. - one real one and one where I've never actually read a book.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby. - I'd rather do #17 AND #50.
95. Seen the Alamo in person. - All good Tennesseans should pay their respects to the original Volunteers.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a law suit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee. - Do yellow jackets count?

Seriously? No #100? All of this and there's not one more question? How about.. "had plastic surgery"... "learned to meditate"... "ran with the bulls"... "tried moonshine"...

What would be your #100?

Tagged - One Word Challenge

Green Girl tagged me and I am nothing if not obedient. Ha. I know, I can't even type that with a straight face... OK, I am nothing if not totally willing to procrastinate for 15 minutes.... better?

Where is your cell phone? pocket
Where is your significant other? imagination
Your hair color? brown
Your mother? home
Step-mother? home
Your father? golf
Step-father? reading
Your favorite thing? vacation
Your dream last night? work
Your dream/goal? debt-free
The room you’re in? office
Your hobby? photography
Your fear? math
Where do you want to be in 6 years? self-employed
Where were you last night? babysitting
What you’re not? unopinionated
One of your wish-list items? TiVo
Where you grew up? Tennessee
Last thing you did? email
What are you wearing? khakis
Your TV? dusty
Your pet? crazy
Your computer? Gateway
Your mood? caffeinated
Missing someone? no
Your car? irritating
Something you’re not wearing? makeup
Favorite store? Target
Your summer? humid
Love someone? Eeeeeddddwwwwaaaaarrrddd (sorry, couldn't resist)
Your favorite color? orange :)
When is the last time you laughed? morning
Last time you cried? yesterday

I think my 15 minutes are up and my caffienated mood is starting to wind down so I'm not going to tag anyone else, but if you want to take a crack at the list, please be my guest.

My First MeMe

I've done these on email before, but not in a bloggy fashion... I don't think anyway...

Green Girl in Wisconsin had this one up earlier in the week and I thought it was cute.

1. What are your nicknames?
Most Obvious: Gert/Gertrude
Most Popular: K
From College: my last name or K-dog
From Waitressing: Quiet, Marcy

2. What game show and/or reality show would you like to be on?
I mentioned "Amazing Race" the other day, but let's get a grip people... I've joked about wanting to be on "What Not to Wear," but in reality I think I'd rather suffer the humiliation of "Amazing Race"... So... ummm... "Antiques Roadshow"? I don't know. I am kind of digging that show on PBS with Mario Batali and Gwyneth Paltrow where they eat their way through Spain and drive around in a swank convertible. I could get over how she kind of bugs me to be able to hang with Mario. We could wear our matching orange clogs.

3. What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD?
I think it was Top Gun (VHS) and When Harry Met Sally (DVD).

4. What is your favorite scent?
Something earthy - herbs or spices. I just bought a bottle of Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker. It goes from light and citrus-y to a warm, spicy smell the longer you have it on. It is just as its name implies.

5. If you had a million dollars that you could only spend on yourself, what would you do with it?
Travel - Turkey, India, Antarctica, Tanzania and Italy. Real estate - an Adirondack-style camp in the mountains and a cedar-shingled cottage near a beach so none of my friends and family would ever have to pay to go on vacation. I'm not sure a million would cover all of this though.

6. What places have you visited that you can't forget and want to go back to?
Italy, Italy, Italy and Italy. Oh, and Maine.

7. Do you trust easily?
No.

8. Do you think before you act, or act before you think?
I often over-think things to the point that I make as bad a decision as if I didn't think at all. Does that make any sense? No, no it does not.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Have I mentioned that until yesterday I've been hiding in my basement?

10. Do you have a good body image?
Uh, no.

11. What is your favorite fruit?
Berries. Any kind. Apples and pears are good too.

12. What websites do you visit daily?
All my favorite blogs plus mamapop.com, rockytoptalk.com, nytimes.com and ew.com.

13. What have you been seriously addicted to lately?
Oh my secret shame... this summer I decided to pick a TV series on Netflix that I'd never seen. I picked "Felicity." Don't mock me. It's JJ Abrams - I had to see how the "Alias" and "Lost" guy could also make a show about college - and it was actually really well-written and acted and I was quickly hooked. I have to admit that it also morphed into a Scott Speedman addiction, but that's another subject. I just finished the whole series last week.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Smart, funny, kicks ass and takes names (in a good way).

15. What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
Cold Play, "Viva la Vida." Has been for like a month. Damn you, Chris Martin, you're starting to bug me as much as your wife does!

16. What's your favorite item of clothing?
See yesterday - black cashmere hoodie. God bless those magical little goats.

17. Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy?
Kinda. Rice Krispie Treats? Most definitely.

18. What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?
Check to see if anyone lost it. I would first wish that no one did, but I would still check.

19. What items could you not go without during the day?
Caffiene, something that makes me laugh, and dog treats. Not for me, of course, but logistically speaking it's not a good idea in my house to go a day without dog treats.

20. What should you be doing right now?
Timesheets. The monthly bane of my existence.

I now tag Katie. She needs an easy post since she's been sick. And because I keep obsessively checking to see if she's posted anything new :) Gimme somethin to read, woman!

Olympic Observations

I have been good and taking my pictures and thinking of summer-related essay topics, but the first week of August all I did was work and last week all I did was work and watch the Olympics so I'm two installments behind. But I can't help it. Work stuff aside, I'm an Olympics geek. Normally I have a slight preference to the winter games, but during the last summer Olympics I was painting my kitchen cabinets. It was just me and Bob Costas for howevermany weeks painting and sanding and learning the minutiae about every athlete. So this year I feel like I'm being reunited with a lot of old friends. I'll get back to my summer assignment shortly, but to get the typing fingers limbered up again...

1. I am not tired - nor will I tire any time soon - of Michael Phelps coverage. Run him into the ground all you want to NBC, I can take it. Dooce named him to her top five list of male celebrities - twice - and I would have to agree with her. I did do the math first though and while it isn't entirely impossible, I am not realistically old enough to be his mother. So I feel okay in going on and on about him. What is it exactly? Is it that he is both terribly hot and adorably dorky all at the same time? Or that he is hottest WITH the swim cap on. What other human even looks good - let alone BETTER - with a swim cap on? He needs another gold just for that. Or that when asked if he was going to get to enjoy the rest of his time at the Olympics, he said he was, but that he did want to get home soon because he missed his dog. That would have made ten gold medals if I were judging.

2. Speaking of swimming... it's been well-established that I am not a flag-draped, "U-S-A" chanting patriot. I get just as excited for other countries when they do well in the Olympics. But when our men's relay team came from behind and beat those snarky, trash-talking, little Frenchie bastards it was almost like I was nine years old again watching the US beat the Soviets in hockey. Not quite - but still pretty damn good. It was made all the better when they showed such good sportsmanship and class and walked directly over to the French team after the race and shook their hands. Makes me want to wear one of those Uncle Sam hats. Okay, not really...

3. One of the many things that keep me from being a flag-draped, "U-S-A" chanting patriot is someone like the women's pole vaulting coach. If I could hand Michael Phelps gold medals for Wearing a Swim Cap Hotly and Total Adorableness for Missing His Dog, then I would so award this dude golds for Extreme Jack-Assedry and Being a Serious Tool. An American pole-vaulter-woman comes in second, losing only to what is apparently the Greatest Female Pole-Vaulter in the Known Universe Ever. After winning silver, she goes over to her coach in the stands - and he berates her! And he's mic'ed so the entire NBC viewing audience gets to listen as he says things like "When you can't even do [pole-vaulty lingo] what do you think is going to happen!?! All you get is silver! That's what happens!" Maybe it's just me, but I don't think I'd be such an arrogant and condescending pig toward a woman who carries around a giant pole for a living...

4. There are a lot of adjectives to describe gymnastics. Funny and refreshing usually don't make the list though. It's always so serious. Everything is so dire and intense. But with the scrappy US men's team's jubilation in working toward an unexpected bronze medal and Bela Karolyi getting all riled up about underage Chinese and bad judging, gymnastics has been a breath of fresh air. I love it when people on camera stop with all the pretense. So many other times we have to endure people who are disappointed WITH A SILVER MEDAL or are so prepped and rehearsed about what to say on camera that it gets to be tiresome. But when the guy on the men's team turned to the camera and genuinely and excitedly shouted "Bronze medal, baby! That's how we roll!" or when Karolyi in one of his tirades kept shouting "ez repoof!" (is ripoff) about the judging of the women's vault - I was cracking up.

5. There have been several "celebrity" deaths this spring and summer that have really affected me. They each seemed to be a genuinely good person who went about doing what they loved with passion but without a lot of fanfare. Most famously in the news have been Tim Russert and Bernie Mac. And even though I didn't know them, I really do miss them. But while watching the Olympics I have also been missing Jim McKay. For my whole childhood he was the voice of the Olympics (not to mention the Kentucky Derby). I can hear his voice and see his golden blazer perfectly in mind. NBC has covered the Olympics for a while now and in general I think they kind of suck at it (even though I do admit to having a geeky crush on Bob Costas). No one did the Olympics like ABC and that was mostly because of Jim McKay. He would have really gotten a kick out of Michael Phelps, the men's gymnastics team, and Bela Karolyi. Plus I'm pretty sure he would have had a few choice - but tactful - words for the French relay team and that pole-vaulting coach.

General Observations

Hello. Long time no chat. Nothing earth shattering has been going on, but here are some random things to be taken or left as you wish.


1. Alanis Morisette should follow me around for a while.
The same day I put in new car air freshener vent clippy things with the scent of "Summer Rain" I accidentally left the windows open too far and it rained in my car all afternoon. Ironic? Yes or no? Please discuss. I would also like to mention that "Summer Rain" air freshener clippy things don't smell a thing like summer rain. They smell like nasty fabric softener and with the same intensity as though you'd snorted it up your nose. So when combined, fake summer rain and actual summer rain in the JettaWhoWillNotBeNamed results in an aroma reminiscent of Wet Dog Doused in Snuggle. So... kinda like my laundry room... A well-spent $2.99 and trip down the Target automotive aisle if ever there was one.


2. So che siete ma che cosa sono io.
In an attempt to add Glass House Dwellers and Stone Throwers to their list of many accomplishments, someone in our presidential administration distributed information to reporters along on the G-8 junket this week. In it was a bio on Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi that referred to him as "a political dilettante who gained high office only through use of his considerable influence on the national media" and "one of the most controversial leaders in the history of a country known for governmental corruption and vice." The staffer that wrote it and will probably have to be punished for it (and who I'm guessing wanted to be fired instead of just jumping ship so that he could collect unemployment while writing his tell-all) really hit the smug, hypocritical mother-load, no? And... not to nitpick over word choice, but if by "vice" the Bushie meant the country has an appreciation of education, history, art, music, architecture, real food, small cars AND YET still manages affordable health care, a pretty high standard of living and a respectable GNP, then I think we could stand a vice or two like that over here. In the meantime I've been hoping Berlusconi's people would issue a statement that just simply said "I know you are, but what am I?"


3. Someone's been sampling the props.
On my Netflix summer watching list is the Showtime series "Weeds." Season 3 is starting to get a little more outrageous and dark-humored than I enjoy, but it's still fantastic. Plus, I think that Nancy and Conrad may have usurped Hyde and Jackie of "That 70's Show" for top spot on my list of Most Unlikely Yet Greatest Television Couples Ever. But alas, not my point. Last night I happened to check out the special features on one of the discs and watched a promo thingy on whichever Olsen twin it is that joined the cast that season. In it she says the role was a great opportunity "because most people only know me from 'Full House' or as a fashion icon." Uhhhh. I'm sorry. What??? I know I shouldn't sit here in Levis, Tevas and a shirt from Eddie Bauer and cast judgement on who should and shouldn't be considered a fashion icon, but at the same time, I think I am as qualified as someone whose style was referred to in this same feature as "dumpster chic." I also don't know if said twin is single, but I hear there's a recently unemployed presidential staffer with similar delusional issues and he could probably use a date this weekend.


4. Ongoing attempts at self-improvement.
There's a general fantasy that seems to float around in the rest of the world's mind as to the typical Southern summer's day. It usually involves elegantly rumpled linen outfits, gracious front porches, the scent of honeysuckle and a hand fan. If you happen to be in possession of one of those fantasies, I'm here to gently inform you that it's a giant pile of crap. A summer's day in my Southern reality involves wearing whatever is least likely to show pit stains... fighting the dogs for the living room floor vent when the AC kicks on... and air so muggy that it knocks the wind out of you just a bit when you walk outside. It is scented. I will give you that. But less like honeysuckle and more like a damp beach towel you just found in the trunk of a car that's been baking in the driveway for a week and a half. And being more on the hermit end of the personality spectrum anyway, it takes all I can muster not to just close all the blinds and lay on the cool hardwoods with an IV of gin and tonic for three or four months. My point (at least I do go on like a good Southerner...) is that one of the reasons I started this little bloggy experiment was to try and evolve a bit. Up to this point I've only succeeded in perfecting the art of kvetching so now I'm going to try something else. And that something is to try to "enjoy" summer through writing. And photography. That's all I've got so far though. But stay tuned...


5. Ending my list with more lists. Ahhhh...
Entertainment Weekly's website (which is all kinds of fun even on a bad day) has been counting down their top 100 lists of "The New Classics." First movies, then television series, then albums, and lastly, books. I was pleased to have seen more than half of the movies listed. More of the TV shows than I care to admit. More of the music than I expected (thanks to a very generous inclusion of angsty 80's alt-rock). But sadly very few of the books. Very sadly. I used to be an avid reader. I still am in some ways, I guess - it's just that it usually involves nonfiction and home improvement magazines. Anyway... if you have a chance and want to take a look at the lists, it's a good way to kill twenty minutes (this link starts the movie countdown and all the rest are in the links on the side). I would be interested to know what you think. Shocks? Happy surprises? Unfortunate omissions? And if you're a smarty-pants that has read a good chunk of the book list I'd like to know what you think should be added to the stack on my bedside table. And read once I finish the July issue of "This Old House," of course...

In Other Less-Grouchy News...

After my post about all things currently wrong with the world I thought I'd be all Feng Shui-y and write about some happier news to balance out my chi. Gert is very zen.

Plus, work has given me one mother of a headache - probably caused by staying here until an ungodly hour last night instead of being able to work from home because - have I mentioned? - George Bush killed my laptop...

Oh that's right. I'm being zen. And nice. Moving on...

1. Never let it be said that I don't take my time getting things done OR that I have a big mouth. I finally got my upper-left thirteen-year molar. Yes, you read that correctly. Back in the day, my orthodontist thought that when the braces finally put everything in order it would just decide to show up. But no. My oral surgeon thought that when he removed my wisdom teeth it would be jarred loose and then come in. Wrong again. Maybe instead of a thirteen-year molar it's a thirty-year molar. What? Oh. I'm not thirty anymore either? Well, hell. OK, so my other theory is that either it has more room now because a couple of my teeth have shifted slightly back to their original, more-crooked position (retainer? what retainer?) OR it has been shaken loose by the new electric toothbrush my dentist suggested I get ("if you'd like to go ahead and admit to yourself that you're really not going to floss as much as you say you're going to and just purchase an electric toothbrush, I think we'd both be much happier in the long run.") So, I'm hoping this starts a new trend and by August I expect to have finished my 7th grade summer reading list and finally found that long-lost Cyndi Lauper cassette...

2. Huntsville didn't totally suck. Totally being the operative word. The first half of my trip was spent at a business/enterprise-related conference that was basically a Republican parallel universe where I was literally the only person not in a suit and where global warming does indeed exist but will actually be good for the US economy because third world countries will become dependent upon us for their food. Who knew!?! But more about that later... How is this happy, good chi news you ask? Well, because I got to see one of UT's former punters, got a magnet and a stress ball (that I've already lost), had HBO in my hotel room, AND met a real live astronaut. Not too shabby. I do wish that instead of pens, one of the booths had been giving away medically-induced amnesia so that I could forget most of the presentations I had to sit through. Maybe next year...

3. Better late than never. I finally got my date night. Monday. I went with my friend Alan to dinner and to see Sex and the City. Dinner was delicious and the movie was too. Not absolutely everything that I was hoping for but enough fabulous clothes and funny lines and inside jokes to keep me happy. There will be more about this later too, but I will say that there was even a third thing as equally delicious as dinner and the movie. It was the preview for the movie version of Mama Mia. I am counting down the days as of this moment.

4. Anyone listen to NPR last Sunday? You knew a list of random crap from me wouldn't be complete without some mention of public television and/or radio... Last Sunday was the anniversary of when Tennessee became a state or some such historical whatnot. Anyway... in honor of that (and because the substitute host for that Sunday is stationed in Nashville) the broadcast included an interview with Nashville's mayor about our lovely Cumberland river (and not so lovely sewer pipes that are from, I kid you not, before the Civil War); an article about the Bluebird Cafe; a musical transition thingy by Victor Krauss (Allison's brother); an interview with local punk band Be Your Own Pet; a feature on the Nashville phenomenon lovingly known as "Hot Chicken" (Splendid Table actually did a better article on Prince's Hot Chicken a month or so ago); AND the guy who played the puzzle with Will Shortz was the cutest little elderly retired professor from UT. He not only totally kicked ass on what I thought was a really hard puzzle, but when asked at the end what his local station was said "WUOT - radio station of the University of Tennessee and the Lady Vols Basketball Champions!" Delightful. I've linked them all so you can hear them online if you'd like :)

5. Last time I was too disgusted to continue with my list. This time I don't know what else I could top it with. Good chi indeed.

A Birthday List

Yesterday was my birthday. Gert is an April Fool. And an old April Fool at that.

I'm not all that big of a birthday person, but this year is turning out to be one long series of small celebrations and intriguing gifts (even if some of them don't know that they are, in fact, birthday gifts).

And now I'm going to list them. Because, well, it's my birthday and it's what I do:

Saturday, March 29

I discovered Target now sells reusable shopping bags AND I got this basket made from recycled paper.

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Sunday, March 30
Went to see Rent with Katie.

Monday, March 31
Katie bestowed a blog award upon me and declared herself a RentHead. Now, even though Rent is leaving Broadway this fall, I will be able to have it reenacted for me every year on my birthday by my dear friend, who will be known to me from now on as RentHead.


.......................................................................

Tuesday, April 1
RentHead and her children sang "Happy Birthday"
to me over the phone.
I received a card with a picture of squirrels wearing dresses.
I went to dinner and to watch the Lady Vols on television
(and they won!).


Wednesday, April 2
Today is one of RentHead's son's birthdays (left).
Happy Birthday John!

.....................................................................

Thursday, April 3
"THE OFFICE" RETURNS!!!!
(I have a reminder written on my I 'heart' Jim magnetic note paper that RentHead gave me)

...................................................................



Friday, April 4
A movie opens, starring George Clooney AND John Krasinski.
And no, I don't care if it sucks.

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Saturday, April 5
I get to spend six relatively uninterrupted hours on a plane reading.
Or thinking.
Or just counting my teeth.
I don't know yet. I just know that I won't have to think about anything that needs to be done - or feel guilty about not doing any of the things that need to be done - at work or at home.

Sunday, April 6
Get to do the same thing, but in the opposite direction.

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Three Weeks from Now, April 23
A friend is coming to visit (hi A!) and we are going to see that guy at this place. And it is going to be kickass.

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There might even be more at some point, but for all of my griping and complaining about the ills of the world and the overall notlookingforwardness that has been the lead-up to this birthday, I would say that it has turned out pretty OK.