Week in Review - Cheers

1. Isn't it "The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend"?? Oh Hell, Who Cares - Roll Tide...
Well, the Alabama Crimson Tide did indeed roll over the Gators. Thank goodness. Nothing worse than making yourself cheer for a team you don't like just to have them lose. Now they're playing for the National Championship and I will dutifully suck it up again on January 7th. Go SEC! I watched the game from my local dive bar (it has no windows or decent chairs, but several thousand dollars worth of flat screen televisions and my favorite local brew on tap). The crowd in the bar was all into the game and was decidedly for Alabama. Nashville is no longer made up solely of people who were born and raised in the state (we're very cosmopolitan now, y'all) so while a good bit of the patrons were likely orange-bleeders like myself, it's safe to assume there were fans of a good many different schools there as well. All united against a common enemy. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.


2. Perhaps I Need to Find a Meeting - or - Become a Local Business Investor
Speaking of said dive bar... I spent more hours in that one on Saturday than I should be admitting to the entire interwebiverse. Several friends very kindly helped my brother and me move the furniture we received from my grandmother to each of our homes. Afterward we treated them to fried things, beer and football at the bar. Some people could only stay for a little while and then left, then other friends showed up, then my mother and step-father dropped by, other friends left, and then more friends showed up. So yeah... basically I arrived there around 3:00 and left around 8:30. Thanks to Melissa for sticking it out with me the entire time - what a trooper!


3. Oh Yeah, That's Right - it's Advent...
Somehow I don't think the Baby Jesus had any idea he'd have to compete with football in the middle of the preparations for celebrating his birth every year. But, then again, since we can all probably admit that he wasn't actually born in December and the crazy Christians just co-opted Winter Solstice from the Pagans, maybe he would actually be down with watching a little gridiron action. Or, at least not be too terribly offended that while I turned down the lights, lit my two purple candles and quietly contemplated the season of Advent and the end of another year, I also did so while watching the Cowboys / Giants game. (It was on mute.)


4. One More Step Toward Being a Grown-up
One of the items passed down to me from Granny was a bed. A real, Big Girl Bed with a headboard AND a foot board, so that I can finally rid myself of the cheap wobbly metal frame that was left in an apartment I once rented and meant that the mattress set my dad had given me when he got a new set for his guest room (which meant I no longer had to sleep on a futon) would not have to sit directly on the floor anymore. Woo hoo. Yes, I am almost 40. Some other time we can discuss why I shouldn't be in any rush to get a flat screen television since my current model is the first one I've ever owned that didn't have dials...


5. Someone, Please, Just Club Me in the Head
I finished my year-long, torturous, tear-inducing, home renovation project like, what, five minutes ago? So, yesterday evening as I was arranging newly-acquired furniture and contemplating how I could spend the two weeks of vacation that start one week from today (yippee!) I actually thought - ACTUALLY THOUGHT - "maybe I'll sand and refinish the hardwood floors in my kitchen and take up the crappy tile in the mud room." Seriously. It may turn out to be a blessing that I have a tendency to spend too much of my available free time (and cash and brain cells) in a bar.


Seasons Greetings!

Thank God I Don't Have to Say this Very Often

The SEC Championship is tomorrow afternoon on CBS - a match-up between Florida and Alabama. Should be a great game, especially since whoever wins will play for the national championship. I've already babbled on and on about my feelings for these two teams so I won't add anything else. I will only say... as much as it pains me...

ROLL. TIDE.

And since there's no Hail Mary Haiku contest to enter, I thought I'd try my hand at it for this less-than-auspicious occassion:

Roll Tide? Ugh. Now feel

faint; must lie down with orange

compress on my head.

Happy Friday!

Week in Review - Giving Thanks

I was indeed thankful last week. Here's what for:

1. Travel and Quiet Weeks at Work
When I get back from a trip I'm not one to say "I'm never getting on plane / staying in a hotel ever again!" No, I immediately start rooting about on the interwebs trying to figure out the next place I can go and how long before I can afford to go there. One of my friends and I spent some time on the flight back from Vegas perusing the Southwest Airlines cocktail napkin that had a map of all of their airports printed on it (we were bored and did not want to watch Twilight again on the other friend's iPhone). This same friend and I have also talked about going to Peru so when I got to work on Monday - with only a three day week and not much to do, here's what I discovered:

• Peru? I could spend a pretty cool week in Peru for about $1,500. Not too shabby.
• Italy? I'd go there once a year if I could afford to. Cheapest city to fly into right now - Rome. But even that was $900+. Ouch.
• Good ole US of A? I priced flying to Chicago and taking a train from there to Spokane or Seattle and stopping mid-way-ish at Glacier National Park for a couple of days. Six words: More. Than. A. Week. In. Peru. Granted, if I wanted to sleep sitting in a chair on the train instead of reserving a sleeper car, then it would have been cheaper. Something has to be done about the convenience and affordability of train travel in this country, people! Anyway - another rant for another post...
• Cheaper alternative? Fly to Denver, rent a car and drive to Yellowstone and Grand Tetons National Parks. Could probably do two weeks for the same - or less! - than the train trip.

2. My Grandmother
She recently moved to an assisted living facility here in Nashville and has been less than pleased. She also has a way with words. Many of them are not quotable here in blogland. We ate lunch with her at her new home this week and here was my favorite quote: "Roger [my dad/her son] took away my car. Said I wasn't allowed to drive anymore. I drive okay. Just have to keep one eye closed." Good times.

3. Non-Traditional Thanksgivings
I have a love-hate relationship with traditions. Generally speaking, I love them, but over the years many of the traditions I've grown to dislike revolve around certain "family" holidays. Where you're supposed to sit around the table with various relations and pretend that you're not all bat-shit crazy simply for the sake of tradition. I'm over it. And I think if Norman Rockwell were alive today, he'd be over it too. In fact, I think his next cover of the Saturday Evening Post could very easily have been of my Thanksgiving dinner this year. The meal: a beautiful array of all the traditional Thanksgiving dishes. Seated around the dining room table: six people - none of whom were related except those that were married to each other. Most of us had already participated in our "traditional" Thanksgiving meals earlier in the day or week that ranged from mildly annoying to really sucky. This one, however, was filled with good conversation, laughter, friendship and good ole fashioned merriment. No passive-aggressive behavior, snide remarks or years of pent-up hostility. Not to be all smug, but I think this is more of what Thanksgiving was intended to be. The lemon martini thingies we had didn't hurt either.

4. A Good Season
I know I go on and on about my beloved Boys in Orange, but I do need to give thanks for them. They've had a hard few years and this season was no exception - a new coaching staff, problems on the field, problems off the field, problems with other coaches. The list goes on. We end our regular season 7-5. On paper that's not the greatest, but I couldn't be more thrilled. They tried hard, they played smart, they learned from their mistakes and they never gave up. They could be 5-7 and I would still be as happy. This past Saturday in their win over Kentucky they did give me a flash-back to two years ago (speaking of Granny), but we all survived. So, for that game and every other game this year, I thank you. Hope you get to go to Tampa for your bowl game. But, if you should end up playing here in Nashville, I will be there with bells on. Orange bells at that.

5. Digital Cameras and Our Beautiful Country
I remember the days of non-digital cameras when I was (briefly) a photography minor and a photographer for our school paper. And I remember the anguish of ruining roll after roll of film while trying to process them in a dark room. And I remember the disappointment in crappy photo after crappy photo on those rolls that I didn't ruin. But no more! Go ahead - take a hundred pictures! Delete the ones that suck! Take more! Upload them to Flickr! Life is good!

So behold - vacation picture highlights! I did not include pictures of Las Vegas - only of Red Rock Canyon. I didn't actually take that many pictures of Las Vegas for some reason (no, I was not drunk) and the ones I did take are mostly of people's faces. And I have a pact with those people. It isn't "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas," but rather, "My picture shows up on your damn Facebook page - your picture goes on my blog." So, unless someone violates that pact, I give you only pictures of beautiful rocks and desert plants.

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Week in Review - Harvest Moons and Other Things

The work never ends, no? I think I've given up on anything more than a weekly post. If that. Perhaps one day I'll be more organized. Until then...


1. From 60 Minutes to Morning Edition

My conference last week went really well but was exhausting. I got home on Saturday afternoon. On Sunday afternoon I fell asleep on the couch and woke up 12 hours later. Feeling much better now.


2. A Study in Contrast

The bad thing about fall and the time change is that it's dark when I come home from work. However, to lessen the blow, the moon has been gracious and kind and absolutely stunning every night on my drive home. Earlier in the week Green Girl in Wisconsin posted a gorgeous picture of the moon from her back yard. The views from my neighborhood haven't been quite this picturesque, but I like them nonetheless. So I give you - "Moon Over East Nashville Liquor Store through a Dirty Windshield":

The moon is the blurry orangish blob in the middle of the picture. But that liquor store has a shelf in the back where you can choose any three bottles of wine for $20.


3. Stitch and Bitch

I'm learning how to knit. So far the results are less than spectacular, but I've only done it once. I don't have a whole lot of time to spend knitting but then I realized that in a couple of weeks I am taking a short trip to Las Vegas and was all excited that I could take my knitting with me on the plane. Then I thought, "knitting on the way to Las Vegas? I mean, why don't I also get a giant plastic sunvisor, a bedazzled Wayne Newton t-shirt, some knee-highs to wear with my black sandals, and an enormous white pleather purse to carry all my tokens for the slots in..."

It would be the next nail in my Tragic Spinster coffin that I'm not quiiiite ready for yet. But I'll probably still do it anyway...


4. Road Trip!

Two friends of mine and I are headed to Knoxville this weekend to watch the Tennessee / Memphis game. Neither of them have ever been to a Tennessee game, so it should be a good time. Especially if we play like we did last week. Oh yeah, that's right - have I not mentioned the spectacular beat-down we gave to Steve Spurrier and his South Carolina Gamecocks last week? I will only repeat: spec-frickin-tacular.

5. Happy Birthday Sesame Street!

I have loved you my entire life. Except Elmo. May you have another wonderful 40 years!

Top Five List - Week in Review

1. Everything is Relative
Nobel Peace Prize, huh? Interesting. Bono is probably like, "dude, I totally have to have a shot at this now." Not that I'm saying Barack isn't worthy, or that Bono wouldn't be either for that matter, but it was all a bit surprising. Most surprising is that part of the reason he was awarded this was just because he put forth the idea (just the idea!) that if the US is going to be a world leader it should maybe be a partner with our allies and be leading with the policies they can all agree on. Fancy that. My idealist side is all warm and fuzzy thinking that maybe world peace is somewhat achievable if we break it down into simple things like this. But then my snarky pessimistic side pipes up and says "gee, what a seriously fucked-up eight years we all just lived through if this is a revolutionary concept."

But back to warm and fuzzy...

2. Dying from all the adorable
Anyone watch Jim and Pam get married on The Office last night? What a roller-coastery ride of squirm-inducing embarrassment and swoon-worthy cuteness. That Jim Halpert. I love him. And, thanks to Katie, I even have the magnetized note pad on my refrigerator to prove it. And, if fictional Jim and Pam weren't adorable enough, the real John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer are pretty damn adorable too. Video proof here.

And while I was watching...


3. Chipped
I am missing part of the girlie chip in my brain. I think I have half of it. If I'm lucky. It makes me that weird species known as Tomboy in a Dress. The kind that remembers who designed the gown Sarah Jessica Parker wore to the 2005 Emmy's, but can also tell you how many touchdown passes Peyton Manning threw last year. The kind that is a shoe/purse whore, but can't stand the color pink. The kind that always wants her toenails painted pretty colors, but can't stand for her fingernails to be painted.

And thus my point... I actually have pretty, girlie fingernails that other, more girlie-girls like to fawn over. But alas, they are attached to ugly tomboy fingers and hands. And I hate to have them painted. Occasionally though (like last night, while I was watching The Office) when I have purchased a new bottle of nail polish and am painting my toes I think "I have nice fingernails, maybe I'll paint them." And then I do. And then it dries. And then I think "Lord. This looks like someone put fake nails on Vienna sausages." And then I take it off. So that all happened last night EXCEPT I couldn't find my fingernail polish remover. So here I sit today. Typing with nicely polished nails. Well, not really, as I am also not a graceful girl and have already managed to chip three of them. Gah!

But speaking of Peyton Manning...

4. Pretty is as Pretty Does
I have a group of friends who enjoys harassing me over - well, over a lot of things - but often over the fact that I do not find Tom Brady attractive. I'm sorry. Shoot me. He's just not my cup of tea. I happen to believe that in the world of NFL quarterbacks, you fall into one of two camps - Bradys or Mannings. Being a good, red-blooded Southern, SEC football-loving girl, I am squarely in the Manning camp. I don't really find Peyton "hot" per se, but that Eli is a cutie. Regardless, I can't just go by "hotness" alone. There has to be some substance there behind any said hotness. And not only do I not find Mr. Brady to be hot, I also just don't find much else there to work with. So, whereas neither Manning boy may be of Greek God status, their personalities make them much more attractive to me.

So, this same group of friends at dinner this week launched into me again about my dislike of Tom Brady and then challenged me with "well then who DO you think is hot? Give us a top five." And you know - it was hard. The first two were easy, George Clooney and Johnny Depp. And then I stalled. And then thankfully someone changed the subject. Because again, it's not just about being pretty. I mean, I could have added Jude Law to that list because, mercy, that is a pretty man. But even if you believe a fraction of what you read about him in People magazine? Ew. Ick. David Beckham? Also rather hot, but have you heard him speak? And seen his wife? Total detractors for me. If we'd finished the list I would have added Colin Firth - but really, is he "hot?" I don't know. I love him. John Cusack? Hot? Perhaps. But definitely on my list. Rounding out the top five would have been Dave Grohl. Also, definitely not traditionally hot, but I do so love him. So very much.

Which brings me to...

5. Sibling Text Message Theater
Dave Grohl played in Nashville on Monday night. Not with the Foo Fighters or the surviving members of Nirvana. Or even Will Ferrell. It was some other ensemble. I did not go, but a friend did. And it turns out they played at a venue where my brother works. Said friend ran into said brother and they chatted while having a smoke. Turns out my brother MET DAVE GROHL backstage! Shortly after learning this bit of information I turned to the trusty qwerty keyboard on my phone:

Me: Just saw Melissa. DUDE! You met Dave Grohl!?

Brother: How's her foot?

Me: Little better. I REPEAT - DUDE! You met Dave Grohl?! WTF!!!!!

Brother: It's not like we had lunch.

Me: BUT STILL! I love him. Was he nice? What was he wearing? What did he say? What did you say?

Brother: He was cool. He said he was looking for a short, dark-haired, single girl he could spend Saturdays watching UT football games with. I said I didn't know any.

And that was the week that was. Happy Friday.

Breaking for Cuteness

I am behind on posting. Again. Such is life.

But... what better way to pay restitution than with cute baby pictures, right?

I know, I know, nothing tops dogs in scarves and football jerseys, but bear with me...

Like a month ago I babysat my niece while my brother went to the first game of the season. She and I had a grand time. We went for a stroll - once on foot and once in a stroller. Then we set up an obstacle course in the living room with stuffed animals and drove the stroller around them. Then we decided it would be way more fun if drove over the stuffed animals with the stroller, and boy howdy, was that ever hilarious.

Then she just hung out in the stroller because apparently its comfy.

We watched a lot more football that day than any toddler should be allowed, but I think it was educational. She learned to clap on first down and when boys in orange jerseys got knocked down she would say "uh-oh" and cover her eyes. Fast learner, that one. After watching the three games after that, I'd say "uh-oh" might just cover our season as a whole. We'll see. I'm trying to have faith.

But really, how could you not want to win with such an adorable fan? Am I right?

She looks so much like my brother in this last picture it's almost disturbing. I kept expecting her to finish that look by rolling her eyes and calling me a butt-head.

Happy Wednesday. Go Vols.

What I Learned This Summer - Part One. Or....

The Official Moment Wherein:

• My boss goes on vacation
• I can see the light at the end of the home renovation tunnel
• It's only 7 more days until the start of college football
• I recently went to see Julie and Julia so I'm reminded that I should be posting something on my blog so that Nora Ephron will one day find me interesting enough to turn into a movie...

No? Ok, moving on...

So, I've been negligent. But with good reason. Kinda. I've spent most of the summer thinking about what I'd like to be when I grow up, should that moment ever happen. And, when I haven't been doing that, I've been painting and wandering through Lowe Depot and obsessively reading about college football. It's been, like, the least girlie summer in history. But I have learned a lot. So, if anyone out there still remembers me, I give you Part One of the Top Five Lessons from the Summer of 2009:


1. I Suck at Balance:


Mostly I suck at balancing the different areas of my life. I'm always letting one of them consume my time and energy and in doing so let the others sit over in the corner and collect dust. And dog hair. Lots and lots of dog hair. I've always known that I do this, but never before this summer have I realized so clearly how dysfunctional I am about it.

The aforementioned home renovation tunnel prevents me from seeking paid help for my condition so until Dr. Phil starts penning an advice column in This Old House magazine, I'm kind of on my own to figure out how to fix it.

I also physically suck at balance. Startled out of bed a couple of weeks ago - by the producers of the dog hair that's collecting on the areas of my life I can't keep balanced - I stumbled into the living room to assess the identity of the person that must've been trying to break into the house and murder us all to warrant all the frantic damn barking. Turned out it was only a stray dog running loose on our street and in the process of my stumbling I clumsily ran one of my toes directly into the dog gate, breaking it slightly.

Points for irony: knowing that it wasn't an important enough toe (second-to-last on the left foot - a.k.a. the Little Piggy Who Had None) or a severe enough break to warrant a visit to the doctor, I just taped it. But I didn't have any medical tape handy for myself, so I swiped some from the other first aid kit in the house. The dog first aid kit. If one of them sprains a paw running through the house because I've woken them up at 2am over something stupid, then maybe I'll feel badly about it.

More points for irony AND bonus humiliation points: the next day I actually had a doctor's appointment. HOWEVER, let's just say that feet were not her area of specialty but that she did have an opportunity get a good look at my feet and asked what I had done. I told her and she said not to bother seeing a doctor whose area of specialty included feet because "unless you broke it off altogether, all they're going to do is tape it." She offered to re-tape the toe for me but said it looked like I had done a good job. I neglected to mention it was thanks to the dogs' first aid kit.


So, there you go, one lesson down and four to go. Hope you've had a good summer too.

Another Season Over

Sniff!

Good-bye College Football. See you next year.

My wailing and gnashing of teeth hasn't been too bad so far this year. Granted, I'm like 30 minutes into the post-season, but hey, that's a start! I've gradually gotten more involved with NFL football so that's helped to soften the blow the last couple of seasons. It's kind of like methadone for my college football addiction, weening me from the dearth in my Saturday schedule, gradually moving me to Sundays and games I'm far less invested in, then placating me with the Superbowl.

Until suddenly, I'm not so twitchy anymore.

But to recap...

Yes, my Boys in Orange broke their bowl game losing streak with a win over Wisconsin. Whew! I haven't written anything about it for fear that it didn't really happen. At my mother and stepfather's house where my brother, his wife and I were watching, there was a great deal of yelling - out of elation one second, frustration the next - so I take that as a sign of a good game. That last big play (less than a minute on the clock; Wisconsin has the ball and a touchdown wins the game for them; they throw the ball into the end zone but Adrian Wardlow intercepts it) there were people in a couple of different rooms in the house, and yet it all sounded something like this:

DeterminationAgressionTerrorBriefSecondOfDisbeliefUncotrollableElation&Screaming

Or

DEEEEEEFENNNSECOMEONDEEEEEFENNNNNSEGETTEMGETTEMGETTEMGETTEMACKINTERCEPTIONINTERCEPTIONWHAAHAAHAAINTERCEPTIONINTERCEPTIONWOOHOO

It was a maddening yet exciting game that perfectly reflected a maddening yet exciting year. Thanks fellas. I had a great time. My cardiologist will be sending you a bill later in the year though, so for everyone's sake, lets see if we can't keep the drama down a bit next season.

As for the rest of the SEC - GOOD JOB!! Except you, Florida (Arkansas is excused). Don't get me wrong, I'm just glad it wasn't us ruining the Bowl Record this year, but you not only had to go and lose to the Big 10, but you lost to Michigan!?! I'm sorry, but that's worse than us losing to Penn State last year.

More importantly though, LSU wins the National Championship! Geaux Tigers... or whatever it is they say. I'm just glad they won. No offense to my Buckeye brethren. After all, I did root for your team last year against Florida, but this year I couldn't break with conference loyalty. And I have to make a big cheeseball admission and say I got a bit verklempt when I heard the LSU crowd toward the end of game chanting SEC-SEC.

But I also have to admit to being very un-Christian/Zen/Whatever-like when I saw LSU's team crowded around the Fox Sports desk/stage thing on the sidelines after the game chanting again - not LSU, but SEC - and right into the ear on Eddie George's very Big 10, Buckeyed, bald head. Heh Heh.

That's right. A two-for-one deal. Spite and alliteration. It was a productive night for me.

So there you go. Good game. Good season. TTFN College Football.

Anyone know what time the Lady Vols game is on tomorrow??

GO SEC!! GO VOLS!!

Questioning

I've been in a funk lately, mostly questioning my career/work situation. I think I'm in need of a change. But, I took my current job because I needed a change from the last one, so part of me has been wondering if its just me and not the jobs. Then yesterday I was at home sick, with what was probably a work-related stress-induced ailment, and I watched When Harry Met Sally. Why? Because it's the cinematic version of chicken soup, that's why. And, because while I'll admit to watching "The View," I draw the line at "Judge Judy" or "Morrie Povich" which are the only options in the mid-day for the cable-less. And yes, I could have turned off the TV, but then what? Just lay there with my own thoughts? Not a good plan. That's probably what got me the sick day to begin with. But... digressing...

It turns out that WHMS was just what I needed. Boys who tell you that "The Godfather is the answer to all of life's questions" are so wrong. The Corleones don't know crap. Ask Sally Albright. So I did. And sure enough, there it was. Exactly what I needed to hear. This current job is my transitional job. I'm not supposed to marry my transitional job. There you go. Problem solved. Let's move on. To what? To that I have no answer. But I feel better about it for now. And tomorrow is another day.

OK, starting to quote a different movie, so let's definitely move on.

So in honor of my sick day / day of vegetation, I thought I'd try to find the answers to my top five list of questions that have come up since the last post. And in fitting with the vegetation part, 90% of them are TV/movie/sports/other couch-potato-related questions.

1. Could Steve Carrell be anymore adorable? And I'm not just asking that because he's a fellow Big Red Buzzard. My favorite quote from this week's "The Office"was from him. Michael to Pam (dictating the want ad to replace Stanley):

"Wanted. Large black man with sass. Big butt. Bigger heart."

It's so sweet when you think about it. Because after all, don't we all want to be known for having a heart that's bigger than our butt?

I also saw him in Dan in Real Life on Sunday with Katie. The movie was good. Terribly predictable in places; not enough development of secondary characters; tied things up too quickly so as not to go over 100 minutes - you know, the typical mainstream movie problems - but overall it was quite endearing and very funny. The whole cast was funny, but the endearing part was all Steve Carrell. And well, the setting. You see, one of the things Katie and I have in common is that we're suckers for any movie with a big family in woolly sweaters and a big ole, rambling house. Preferably with cedar shingles. And on the water. And a nice lawn for touch football is a bonus. As are canoes and Adirondack chairs. And a run-down vintage-y kitchen. And plaid. Sorry... I drifted off there for a sec... Anyway, this movie had all of the these things in spades



Needless to say we were goners from almost the very first frame.


2. Couldn't they have given the guy on "Grey's Anatomy," who had the open heart surgery while he was awake, something to do besides just lay there and go nuts? I know they needed to heighten the drama, but if I had to lay on a table with a room full of people looking at me for six hours - not even factoring in that they would all be staring at the inside of my chest - I would go stark raving mad. Couldn't they have rolled in a TV set for him or something? I mean, really, if way back in the 80's my orthodontist let me watch Top Gun while I got my braces on, surely they could have figured out something for this guy.

3. Is it just me, or does the new Krystal's Caribbean Chik sandwich look like vomit? Seriously. Not that ALL Krystal sandwiches aren't just shy of vomit to begin with, but this one looks truly awful. Maybe its a new era of truth-in-advertising for them. Either way it's GRO-OSS.

4. How do you have an All Saints service without singing Hymn 293? Maybe it's just me, but I think it would make Jesus happy if we could sing a hymn once a year that I know all the words to. A few others sitting near me contemplated just starting to sing it ourselves and seeing who would join in. But we didn't. We're Episcopalians after all. You can't get too crazy... Or else they give you the bad wine at communion.

5. Why does Peyton Manning have to over-think things so much? And. Why is Bill Belichick such a bastard? I'm certainly in no place to criticize over-thinking, but P, when a 300-pound guy grabs your arm, don't keep thinking about how to salvage the play, just take the damn sack. And Bill, dude, what is your deal!? It's one thing to be a sore loser, but it takes a whole other skill set to be a sore winner. And rude to Tony Dungy? Really? Do you kick puppies too? And was it just a coincidence that every time I looked up at the game from what I was reading, I just happened to see one of your players also behaving like an ass? Granted, I haven't liked you guys since I was a young girl with a crush on Dan Marino and you had to use a groundskeeper to beat the Dolphins in a snow storm. But now. Now you're nothing more than the pro version of Florida. And no one needs that.


And no, no recap of the Tennessee game. It was a blow-out - in our favor this time, thankfully - and only on the radio so there's not much to mention.... except, GO VOLS, of course.

Go Dawgs Go!

Georgia players celebrate with the fans following Georgia's 42-30 win over Florida in a football game Saturday, Oct. 27, 2007, in Jacksonville, Fla. (AP Photo/Phil Coale)

TSIO

For those who may not know, this Saturday is the Tennessee / Alabama game, a.k.a the Third Saturday in October. Their first match-up was in 1901 and I believe it was a tie. And I also believe that was probably about as amicable as the game has ever been. Regardless of how good or how crappy either team happens to be that year we're all but guaranteed a great game - or if nothing else - a good old-fashioned bloodbath. The object of the game at this point isn’t really who wins, it’s just who has the most players left standing by the end.

The year I was born began our longest losing streak to the Crimson Tide and for the whole first decade of my life I didn’t know what it was like to “Beat ‘Bama.” That is, until October 16, 1982. On that day Alabama was ranked #2 and picked to beat us yet again, but a long touchdown pass and a last-second interception changed all that. I don’t have a lot of memories from that day but I’ve read enough and seen enough replays to create them in my mind: Willie Gault running into the end zone in all orange; the orange and white UT in the middle of the field; John Ward’s “And the crowd. Goes. Be-zerk!”; fans rushing the field. But what I do legitimately remember is that it was my very first feeling of being part of something bigger than myself. Vacation Bible School had tried and failed several times to accomplish this, but pulling one over on that nasty old bastard, Bear Bryant, sure did the trick. If I hadn’t known since birth that I was UT fan, I’m pretty sure that at the age of 11 at the dinner table that night I would have declared myself to be one.

And there are other games we can’t forget either. The good: Peyton Manning breaking another Alabama streak in ’95, 41-14. Or beating them again in ’97 when we listened to parts of the game on the radio... standing around a parked car... at a wedding reception... with the mother of the bride... who made her daughter wait until a time out to throw the bouquet... The bad: our fourth quarter loss on a fumble that added insult to an already injured season. The ugly: 5 over-times (but we did win) or three years ago when two rude Alabama players warming up on the field in the middle of the Pride of the Southland nearly caused a riot.

These days we don’t always get to play the game on the TSIO, which is just wrong, in my opinion (Is nothing sacred!?! What’s next, Thanksgiving on a Tuesday!?!). Or, we have the new issue of CBS – for the first time in oh, twenty years or so – deciding not to televise the game. They’ve opted instead to gamble on the chance at a flashy upset of Kentucky over Florida. And I understand that there’s money involved. And yeah, neither of ours teams has been on a grand winning streak the last few years, but if NBC can still televise Notre Dame games with a straight face, this really shouldn't have been that difficult a decision. But whatever. Karma will come back to bite you in the ass, CBS. Just you wait. As for me, this Saturday I'm sure I’ll check in at some point to see if Kentucky has maybe – hopefully – won, but for the most part, my ass will be firmly rooted in tradition and in front of the TV watching the Vols vs. the Tide. So what if it's on UPN/Channel 30. Yeah, that's right! We're the Lincoln Financial Game of the Week. No shame in that! On commercial breaks I may keep an ear out for General Neyland turning over in his grave, but I still say GO VOLS!