Sunday, September 28, 2008
The first debate was a bit dull. Is that a good thing? I don't know. At least it happened. I do wish they would stop calling them debates though. They're not. A debate is supposed to be an organized argument between different opinions on various issues. Not two people talking about how much the other person sucks. I don't want to know how one candidate supposedly voted on this issue five years ago. I don't want to be told that the other person will totally ruin the universe. I don't want to hear personal anecdotes or attempts at humor. I want them to actually answer the damn question and not in slogans or catch phrases that only serve to get people all riled up. Save it for the ads and campaign speeches.
So I vote that flip charts be used at all debates. As you talk, you must write your ideas in a list of bullet points so that we can see when you're done if what you've said actually has any merit or is just a circuitous, nonsensical pile of crap. Just think about it - when the debate is over, we'd have this big visual representation of what each candidate wants to do. Then Jim Lehrer could go up on stage with a big red marker - or Tom Brokaw could do it onscreen with a telestrator like they do for football games - and cross through anything that was mudslinging or conjecture or didn't directly answer the question. We would also get an idea about each candidate's penmanship and list-making skills. I for one would enjoy that.
A Long Strange Trip:
New season of "Amazing Race." Yay! I looove this show. It's exciting and educational. There is the obligatory melodrama and silliness that can grate on my nerves, but in the world of reality programming, I think this kicks ass. Plus, it gives people like me hope. With all of the physical challenges that I would totally suck at, what trips teams up the most seems to be the real challenges of international travel: not screaming in English at people who don't speak it, reading a map, using public transportation, and driving a stick-shift. I happen to rock at all of those things. Oh, and rowing a boat. I guess it's kind of a physical challenge but I am capable of rowing a boat. I mean, really, is it that hard? Yet every year there's a major meltdown with at least one team - who was somehow able to climb up the side of a castle on a ladder constructed of seaweed like champs earlier in the day - who can't row a frickin' boat. It's unbelievable. If I ever see challenges added that also involve using a label-maker, parallel parking, pop culture trivia, or a scavenger hunt at Target - that million dollars will be mine.
Don't know about you, but my salads have been tasting very sad.
Friday, September 26, 2008
- Impending-Armageddon-Induced Insomnia (I mean really, did you think yesterday's crazy rant was done at a normal hour??)
- The peace that came with finally seeing Jim and Pam get engaged on "The Office." (Adorable, yes, but the Pennsylvania Turnpike? Seriously? I think we all deserved a little better than that.)
I woke up a little before midnight and couldn't go back to sleep so I checked in on the man who has lately been giving my affection for Jon Stewart a little competition. Craig Ferguson. If you've never watched his show, I recommend watching, taping, DVRing, Tivoing, or YouTubing - whichever your pleasure. He's just great. Nothing is scripted - the monologues or the interviews. Sometimes that means there's a lot of mediocre rambling, but even at those times he's better than a lot of rehearsed talk show hosts. Plus, he says what he thinks, doesn't mince words and yet he's still really nice about it. Oh. And. There's the Scottish accent. Definitely adorable.
Last night I hit the mother load. Tim Gunn from "Project Runway" was his first guest. "Project Runway" is definitely in the Top Five of what I miss not having cable and Mr. Gunn is one of the biggest reasons. He's a lot like Craig Ferguson - he's hilarious, he's brilliant, he's direct and says what he thinks and yet he's so nice about it. Turns out the two men are each a big fan of the other's show and their conversation together was so damn adorable I could barely stand it.
In case you haven't picked up on it - I have two main weaknesses when it comes to the opposite sex: an accent from the British Isles and a smart, dry-witted, gay man.
A little insight as to why I'm still single? Perhaps.
Here's the clip, thanks to YouTube. It's a bit long, but worth it to get to the end when they talk about Diane von Furstenburg. So great.
And really. Even if you don't care anything about either of them or their shows, it's refreshing watch two intelligent people carry on an articulate conversation without the use of teleprompters or sound bites.
So I'm now off to a bar to watch the debates and guessing that my warm and fuzzy Gunn/Ferguson feeling won't last much longer.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
My last political science class may have been taken before cell phones existed. I may not know a whole lot more about the Bush Doctrine than Caribou Barbie claims to know. And I can't manage my own household and its finances particularly well so I certainly don't have any business managing say a company or a country. BUT. In the spirit of my baseball observation...
This I know:
Going on television every couple of years for the sole purpose of scaring the shit out of people so they will hop on your bandwagon is NOT THE WAY TO LEAD A COUNTRY!
I won't dwell in your past attempts at doing this. I have my Sesame Street Terror Alert on my iPage as a daily reminder.
But for this more recent incident, let's review:
- In January you said our economy was "sound."
- In July you said our economy was "basically sound."
- You spent the rest of the summer toddling around Camp David and the Olympics.
- Then last night you come on prime time television to tell people "OUR ENTIRE ECONOMY IS IN DANGER."
But you know... this current pattern of yours sounds pretty familiar... let's see... oh yeah, that's where I've heard it before...
IT WAS ME. MY SENIOR YEAR OF COLLEGE.
How did Gert handle her impending adulthood? Let's review:
- In January of that year, I believe I was quoted as saying, "No worries. Where's the keg?"
- By June I was all "Dude, look at my pretty diploma!"
- That summer? Spent it happily living in a tent and skipping around in the woods.
- September arrived. I suddenly realized the sky was falling.
It wasn't pretty. But you know what? I WAS TWENTY-FRICKIN'-TWO-YEARS OLD. The only things I was responsible for were my student loan, a Volkswagen named Jose Jetta, and a ficus. NOT THE HEALTH AND SAFETY OF 300 MILLION PEOPLE.
But again, what do I know? I am so far from being an economics expert it's not even funny. I'm more likely to be named Miss Alaska than Fed Chair. Well, actually, the opposite is probably closer to being true. BUT YOU GET MY POINT.
So... since we seem to have similar ways of
obliviously keeping our heads up our asses and then running around like morons handling big problems, I would like to offer up my own life experience as a cautionary tale:
Of the three things I was responsible for during September Nervous Breakdown '93, the only one that was still alive by September '94 was my student loan.
Still in the basement,
Sunday, September 21, 2008
But this I know:
You don't tear down Babe Ruth's and Lou Gehrig's stadium.
And I'm not exactly sure why this bothers me so much. Maybe it's because in this time where our country's greed and laziness and shortsightedness has gotten us into yet another big pile o' trouble, this just seems like a giant, ugly metaphor for it all.
I am glad I had the chance to go to a game in Yankee Stadium though. Don't have a clue who they played. We were so far up in the stands that I couldn't really even tell who was who. But it was fun. I enjoy seeing the enthusiasm and dedication of fans regardless (in most cases) of what team it is, and the Yankees are no exception.
It was a warm, early summer's night, a total blow-out, and to keep us entertained I think every Yankee broke some sort of random record - like Most Number of Base Hits in a Home Game in a Month not Ending in the Letter R - and that sort of thing.
There were also a great number of hot dogs and beers enjoyed in our section and my friend's boyfriend, being drunk, from New Jersey, and a bit of a tool, started loudly joking with me about being from Tennessee / the South. Others around us, being bored with the game, and what with not being able to actually see the game and all, started to good-naturedly chime in. They all took a liking to me and we spent most of the rest of the game with them telling me stories about coming to games and living in New York and we each practiced saying different words and phrases with each other's accents. I loved every minute of it.
Eventually they decided that with all of the random records being broken that night we each deserved a record of our very own. And they started with me. So you will be proud to know that I am The Tennessean to Consume the Most Number of Beers in Section 31 / Row ZZ / Seat 9 of Yankee Stadium. Ever. Take that Derek Jeter. I may be a bit fuzzy on the actual location of my seat and would need to dig out my ticket stub from a box in a closet somewhere if someone needs official verification. But that's pretty close and it's still a title I wear proudly.
That's quite something coming from this Southern girl.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
cut a lime in half and rub it
on your forehead and
the pain will go away."
Really? All it does is make me want a gin and tonic.
Which could very well be how I got the headache in the first place.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I told a friend yesterday, that with all of the things going on with you right now, maybe it was time for me to take my Trusy Tornado Preparedness Backpack and head to the cellar to live with the crickets for a bit.
It's a very cute (LL Bean. Duh.) and chocked full of goodies like bottled water, a hand-crank flashlight, tiny battery-operated radio, granola bars, canned dog food (not for me) and a small first-aid kit. If I throw in a crossword puzzle book, my back issues of Real Simple, and a notebook on which to write my manifesto, I think I could get by for a few days while you work out some of your issues.
And by then maybe
and this...and this...
and this ridiculous nonsense ...
and hell, of course how could I forget this...
have time to get better, go away, or for this freaky-assed thing to get all revved up again and swallow us in one giant gulp.
So please let me know when it's all better. Just drop by and stomp on the kitchen floor. I'll know its you.
Ta-ta for now,
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Here are a few more photos:
I think it's safe to say that if you're looking for a school for yourself or someone else, I can't recommend this one enough. Of course, these pictures don't do it justice. It was rainy and cloudy and the trees haven't changed yet, but in my head it's forever mid October and sunny. Luckily it's forever like that on the website too. They're no fools. I may spend the rest of the afternoon just occasionally going back there and clicking refresh.
Thanks for indulging me. Stay tuned for the rest of the trip.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
For most of the trip it looks a lot like this:
Cincinnati's a fun city to drive through as long as traffic isn't too bad. You get to go over a big bridge. See the new stadium. Lots of cool old architecture and tall buildings.
And no, I've never had the privilege of driving through any of the big, square, scary states, so I'm sure that this is quite a breeze in comparison. But when all you have are your own thoughts, a digital camera and Terry Gross to keep you company, you can see how a person could go a bit mad.
But I made it safe and sound (ish) and will be sharing more of my weekend adventure later. That's all for now. Safe travels.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Yes, some teams played on Saturday, but football doesn't really start until my boys in orange take the field.
Which they did.
And then lost in overtime to a team in CALIFORNIA.
And I KNOW the logic behind not playing a cupcake team from a lower division for your opening game. And I agree with it. And I KNOW that this is how last season started out (but even a bit worse, actually). And it all ended up ok.
But the thing is, all summer when I could have - no, SHOULD HAVE - been reading up on new players and stats - I was working. When I could have been watching highlights from scrimmages or learning the rule changes - I was working. And I'm not talking about the 8 hours in which I'm supposed to be working and not on govols.com. I'm talking about free time. What was I doing? Working. So now it's football season and do I understand the new clock rules? No. Did I know where our new offensive coordinator came from? No. Do I know how much faster Monterio Hardesty can run the 100-yard dash this year? Uh, no. So, what would have been a frustrating but minor loss is now just a symbol of something much greater and much grouchier.
So I still say GO VOLS. But I'm also thankful that this is a bye week.
And how am going to spend this bye week? Going to a football game, of course. And celebrating - in all likelihood - losing a football game. How is this possible you ask?
I'm going to visit one of my very best friends in Columbus, Ohio and we are going to the Ohio State / Ohio University football game. She and I attended Ohio University (she has an actual diploma though) and are big Bobcat fans. Chances are good that you've heard of Ohio State University, but not of Ohio University. It's a much smaller school with a much less-successful football team.
Normally there wouldn't be a huge rivalry between in-state schools that are so different, but one of the years I attended OU there was a big dispute. You see, it wasn't enough that Ohio State refers to itself as The Ohio State University (no, I'm not kidding), but when colleges and universities were given the opportunity to license different letters and nicknames for their sportwear, Ohio State decided that in addition to owning the rights to "Ohio State," "OSU," and yes, even the letter "O," they also wanted the word "Ohio" (not sure if they tried to own "The" as well).
Thing is, Ohio University rightly laid claim to that nickname. Just as the University of Michigan is "Michigan" and Michigan State University is "Michigan State." Or the University of Florida is "Florida" and Florida State University if "Florida State." Not really rocket science, right? But no, some are slow and like to be big bullies and a legal battle ensued. It made national news. Granted, no one outside the state really cared. All that matters though is in the end, the right Ohio prevailed. Ohio University's homecoming theme that year was "There's Only One OHIO." And even though their opponet was the university of Akron, most of the parade floats involved some sort of bobcat beating up a buckeye. 'Gotta love it.
This Saturday no one acutally expects Ohio University to win the game. But that's OK. Ohio's football fans aren't used to winning all that much, but they cheer just as loudly for a completed pass or a good punt as other teams do for touchdowns and field goals. They're never bitter or feel slighted because another team outplayed them. They're just happy little green-clad, oft-intoxicated Bobcats, proud of their school and proud of their team and having a damn good time regardless. Without sounding like a sap, it's really quite touching to see. It also doesn't hurt that the marching band totally kicks ass.
So, if you're around on Saturday afternoon and you're a fan of good ole fashioned team spirit, tune into ESPN at 11am C / 12 E and watch the Battle for Ohio and cheer for the underdogs. The 34-point underdogs.
GO VOLS! GET TO PRACTICE!
GO BOBCATS! BEAT THE SPREAD!