Friday, June 20, 2008

Aaaaaand We're Uncrossing Our Fingers

Let's see...

Laptop: could not be resuscitated.

Email Inbox: totally vanished sometime around 4:00.

Boss: pestered me constantly with tedious crap all week and is now pissed that I haven't gotten more done.

Demons from Previous Job: reared their ugly heads this morning and sent me for a dip in the pool of self-doubt and neuroses. Prima donna boss isn't helping much either.

Me: leaving now to go stick my head in a bucket of Jack Daniels.

See ya Monday.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Fingers Crossed

Dear Internet:

Someone just came to take a look at The Laptop and said that he can probably fix it. Woo hoo!

I'm not holding my breath, but it's possible that by this time next week I'll be back to spending an inordinate amount of time writing things and assuming you're interested in reading them. Lucky Internet!

Stay tuned...

Love,
Gert

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The Boys of Summer

A certain blogger, familar to this site, recently announced to me that I will be going to see Sex and the City again next month.

But until then, for my viewing enjoyment, I will have the also-enjoyable BizzaroCarrie and her very un-Sex and the City-like friends: P.J. Franklin and the boys of "My Boys". Yay.

I don't quite know what it is about this show, but I luuuuuuuve it. So very much.

Have you seen it? It's adorable. And really funny. P.J. is tomboyish, a writer, and blond and skinny, of course. Almost all of her friends are guys. They drink beer and play board games and watch sports at their neighborhood tavern. And they drink beer and play poker at her apartment - a fabulous Chicago apartment that, as a newspaper sports writer, she totally couldn't afford in real life but that you enjoy nonetheless.

So hey, just like my life! Well, ummm... I think I have the tomboyish thing down. Most of my friends are (gay) guys. But we do often drink beer at our neighborhood tavern. Only it's more dive bar than tavern. And we talk about, well, Sex and the City and anything else BUT sports. And while I'm completely in favor of playing poker, it's mostly just me drinking diet coke and playing fetch with my dogs at my house - a slightly ramshackled East Nashville cottage that I too totally can't afford in real life, but that I enjoy nonetheless. So yeah... uh... just like my life....

But seriously... I enjoy suspending reality and logic for some shows, but it's a nice change to see something more relatable on television. Plus, "My Boys" is a single-camera sitcom - so no studio audience or obnoxious laugh track. It's really well-written and quick-witted - so no annoying one-liners or slap-stick. I admit that the voice overs with the constant sports analogies get a bit tiresome, but much like Carrie talking directly at the camera in the first season of SATC, I'm guessing that aspect has probably been axed.

The season premiere is tonight at 8:30c/9:30e on TBS or online at tbs.com. You can watch old episodes there too. Enjoy!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

An Inconvenient Gadget

On my iGoogle page is a gadget for the National Geographic photo of the day. It's very cool. But be warned - if you click on the photo you will learn more than you really wanted to. And we all know that learnin' only leads to trouble.

Because sometimes you see a cute photo of a bear cub and learn that this type of bear has a really long tongue so it can eat ants out of an anthill like an aardvark. And then you share this bit of information at a cocktail party when someone mentions something only slightly related to the subject of bears. And then you watch as people start fake-looking around for more artichoke dip.

Other times the lovely photo of the bear cub turns out to be a very sad photo of a bear cub who lost its mother because run-off from the condos being built upstream has filled her river with sediment and destroyed the salmon population so she can't build up enough fat for hibernation.... and then global warming has screwed up her hibernation schedule so she woke up too early and was too skinny anyway because of the no-fish situation... so then she wandered absent-mindedly - what with the lack of sleep and the low-blood sugar and all - into a road and was run down by a Hummer. Then the next time you eat salmon it tastes all kinds of depressing and guilty.

But hey, here's an encouraging photo:

When I saw it this morning I immediately thought "Oh great! 'Cute Penguin Poses in Front of Melting Ice Cap.' I'm guessing he died of heat stroke or was eaten by a ravenous polar bear seconds after the photo was taken." And of course I have to open it and find out for sure... But no! Turns out, THIS kind of penguin (a chinstrap penguin - how cute!) is one of the more warm-weathered penguins so it is actually thriving in the now-toasty Antarctic. Awesome.

If that guy I heard speak in Huntsville has this same gadget on his iGoogle page I bet he is soooo stoked right now.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

In Other Less-Grouchy News...

After my post about all things currently wrong with the world I thought I'd be all Feng Shui-y and write about some happier news to balance out my chi. Gert is very zen.

Plus, work has given me one mother of a headache - probably caused by staying here until an ungodly hour last night instead of being able to work from home because - have I mentioned? - George Bush killed my laptop...

Oh that's right. I'm being zen. And nice. Moving on...

1. Never let it be said that I don't take my time getting things done OR that I have a big mouth. I finally got my upper-left thirteen-year molar. Yes, you read that correctly. Back in the day, my orthodontist thought that when the braces finally put everything in order it would just decide to show up. But no. My oral surgeon thought that when he removed my wisdom teeth it would be jarred loose and then come in. Wrong again. Maybe instead of a thirteen-year molar it's a thirty-year molar. What? Oh. I'm not thirty anymore either? Well, hell. OK, so my other theory is that either it has more room now because a couple of my teeth have shifted slightly back to their original, more-crooked position (retainer? what retainer?) OR it has been shaken loose by the new electric toothbrush my dentist suggested I get ("if you'd like to go ahead and admit to yourself that you're really not going to floss as much as you say you're going to and just purchase an electric toothbrush, I think we'd both be much happier in the long run.") So, I'm hoping this starts a new trend and by August I expect to have finished my 7th grade summer reading list and finally found that long-lost Cyndi Lauper cassette...

2. Huntsville didn't totally suck. Totally being the operative word. The first half of my trip was spent at a business/enterprise-related conference that was basically a Republican parallel universe where I was literally the only person not in a suit and where global warming does indeed exist but will actually be good for the US economy because third world countries will become dependent upon us for their food. Who knew!?! But more about that later... How is this happy, good chi news you ask? Well, because I got to see one of UT's former punters, got a magnet and a stress ball (that I've already lost), had HBO in my hotel room, AND met a real live astronaut. Not too shabby. I do wish that instead of pens, one of the booths had been giving away medically-induced amnesia so that I could forget most of the presentations I had to sit through. Maybe next year...

3. Better late than never. I finally got my date night. Monday. I went with my friend Alan to dinner and to see Sex and the City. Dinner was delicious and the movie was too. Not absolutely everything that I was hoping for but enough fabulous clothes and funny lines and inside jokes to keep me happy. There will be more about this later too, but I will say that there was even a third thing as equally delicious as dinner and the movie. It was the preview for the movie version of Mama Mia. I am counting down the days as of this moment.

4. Anyone listen to NPR last Sunday? You knew a list of random crap from me wouldn't be complete without some mention of public television and/or radio... Last Sunday was the anniversary of when Tennessee became a state or some such historical whatnot. Anyway... in honor of that (and because the substitute host for that Sunday is stationed in Nashville) the broadcast included an interview with Nashville's mayor about our lovely Cumberland river (and not so lovely sewer pipes that are from, I kid you not, before the Civil War); an article about the Bluebird Cafe; a musical transition thingy by Victor Krauss (Allison's brother); an interview with local punk band Be Your Own Pet; a feature on the Nashville phenomenon lovingly known as "Hot Chicken" (Splendid Table actually did a better article on Prince's Hot Chicken a month or so ago); AND the guy who played the puzzle with Will Shortz was the cutest little elderly retired professor from UT. He not only totally kicked ass on what I thought was a really hard puzzle, but when asked at the end what his local station was said "WUOT - radio station of the University of Tennessee and the Lady Vols Basketball Champions!" Delightful. I've linked them all so you can hear them online if you'd like :)

5. Last time I was too disgusted to continue with my list. This time I don't know what else I could top it with. Good chi indeed.