Monday, November 17, 2008


Or should I say "bitten"...

I would like to take a moment to acknowledge Katie, as she receives my newly created "Bad Influence Blogger" award for mentioning that she was reading the Twilight series in a post a few weeks ago.

"Oh, I've heard people talk about these books. Are they really any good?" I asked over the phone after reading the post.

"Ggggaaaaahhhhh Eeeeeedddddwwwaaaaaaaardddd." Was all I heard on the other end.

For those of you who haven't read the book - or those of you who are SANE but don't happen to have a 14 year-old girl in your home - the Twilight books are about Bella, a teenage human girl and Edward, a very old vampire trapped in the body of a hot 17 year old boy. Duhn, duhn, duuhhh...

After a very lengthy work week that didn't end until 5:30 on Saturday evening, I found myself in the magazine and paperback aisle of Target.

"Oh, hey look - there's that book Katie loves," I mumbled out loud to myself in the middle of Target and then followed it with a little imitation of "Eeeeddddwwwwaaaarrrddd."

I picked up the book - the actors cast to play Bella and Eeeeddddwwwaaarrrddd in the upcoming motion picture are already on the cover. It was all of $6 and a fairly sizable read at 500-ish pages in a moderately-sized type face. I considered the likelihood of it totally sucking and the desire I had to do next to nothing on Sunday and tossed it in the cart along with my trouser socks, power strip and dog treats.

Sunday came and as I started a load of laundry and then prepared to get back in bed and listen to a marathon of NPR, I glanced over at the book.

"It's probably easy enough to read for a bit while I listen to the news," I reasoned.

"It's probably got a light and soap-opera-y plot that won't be hard to put down when the next load of laundry needs to be started or I feel guilty enough to go empty the dishwasher," I justified in my mind.

And then I started reading.

"Wow, 'Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!' is on already?!?" I thought when I heard my favorite NPR show start and figured out the morning news was long over.

"Eh. I'll listen to it on-line sometime later this week," I quickly decided.

"Crap. I have to pee," I realized, totally annoyed, and then raced around the house, letting the dogs out, changing the laundry, pouring more coffee, and oh yeah, peeing, all in a span of 30 seconds, before going back to reading.

"Holymarymotherofgod are you kidding me!?! The repeat of 'A Prairie Home Companion' is on! That means it's after 2:00!" I shouted to myself totally appalled at my laziness and the fact that I've been reading about teenage vampire love for SIX HOURS.

"Oh. I only have 40 pages left," I quickly assessed and then realized that it didn't matter if the sun started setting and I had to subject myself to the public radio hell that is "Thistle and Shamrock," I wasn't getting up until it was finished.

"DAMN YOU AND YOUR VAMPIRE BOOK!" I said as Katie picked up the phone when I called after finishing the last delicious page.

I can't remember the last time I read an entire book in one sitting. But really, if I think about it, it's not THAT HARD to believe as what quickly drew me in is that the main character is a clumsy, pasty, awkward, introverted, dark-haired, teenage girl with sarcasm and angst to spare.

Helllooo??? Sound familiar??? (That's me waving at you through the computer...)

And what would this real live angsty teenager have thought if her high school biology lab partner turned out to be a brooding, sullen, complicated, outsider with piercing eyes, impossibly high cheekbones, and told me he was a vampire??? I think we all can guess the answer.

I mean, who are we kidding? My elementary school boyfriend thought he was a dog for all of fourth grade.

So I think it's safe to say that I give Twilight a hearty two thumbs up. I expected the written equivalent of "Beverly Hills 90210." Something I admit to having enjoyed but with full understanding of how ridiculous it was. But this wasn't. This was more equatable to my summer obsession with "Felicity" I admitted to earlier. Unexpectedly enjoyable writing. Compelling stories. Addictive characters.

Felicity with Fangs, if you will.

And Edward is my new Ben.

I'm sorry. I totally misspoke.



Katie said...

CHOMPS reference! I love it! Oh, how I remember those days...

Okay, I did tell you that there are three more books, right? Go back to Target NOW.

How did I miss Elsie's birthday post? And the post post election post? Stupid computer.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

You crack me up! I love your post--and I love that you identify with this gal. I still haven't read Twilight (so there remain 3 of us on that island I guess), but now I'm slightly more intrigued...