Week in Review - Giving Thanks

I was indeed thankful last week. Here's what for:

1. Travel and Quiet Weeks at Work
When I get back from a trip I'm not one to say "I'm never getting on plane / staying in a hotel ever again!" No, I immediately start rooting about on the interwebs trying to figure out the next place I can go and how long before I can afford to go there. One of my friends and I spent some time on the flight back from Vegas perusing the Southwest Airlines cocktail napkin that had a map of all of their airports printed on it (we were bored and did not want to watch Twilight again on the other friend's iPhone). This same friend and I have also talked about going to Peru so when I got to work on Monday - with only a three day week and not much to do, here's what I discovered:

• Peru? I could spend a pretty cool week in Peru for about $1,500. Not too shabby.
• Italy? I'd go there once a year if I could afford to. Cheapest city to fly into right now - Rome. But even that was $900+. Ouch.
• Good ole US of A? I priced flying to Chicago and taking a train from there to Spokane or Seattle and stopping mid-way-ish at Glacier National Park for a couple of days. Six words: More. Than. A. Week. In. Peru. Granted, if I wanted to sleep sitting in a chair on the train instead of reserving a sleeper car, then it would have been cheaper. Something has to be done about the convenience and affordability of train travel in this country, people! Anyway - another rant for another post...
• Cheaper alternative? Fly to Denver, rent a car and drive to Yellowstone and Grand Tetons National Parks. Could probably do two weeks for the same - or less! - than the train trip.

2. My Grandmother
She recently moved to an assisted living facility here in Nashville and has been less than pleased. She also has a way with words. Many of them are not quotable here in blogland. We ate lunch with her at her new home this week and here was my favorite quote: "Roger [my dad/her son] took away my car. Said I wasn't allowed to drive anymore. I drive okay. Just have to keep one eye closed." Good times.

3. Non-Traditional Thanksgivings
I have a love-hate relationship with traditions. Generally speaking, I love them, but over the years many of the traditions I've grown to dislike revolve around certain "family" holidays. Where you're supposed to sit around the table with various relations and pretend that you're not all bat-shit crazy simply for the sake of tradition. I'm over it. And I think if Norman Rockwell were alive today, he'd be over it too. In fact, I think his next cover of the Saturday Evening Post could very easily have been of my Thanksgiving dinner this year. The meal: a beautiful array of all the traditional Thanksgiving dishes. Seated around the dining room table: six people - none of whom were related except those that were married to each other. Most of us had already participated in our "traditional" Thanksgiving meals earlier in the day or week that ranged from mildly annoying to really sucky. This one, however, was filled with good conversation, laughter, friendship and good ole fashioned merriment. No passive-aggressive behavior, snide remarks or years of pent-up hostility. Not to be all smug, but I think this is more of what Thanksgiving was intended to be. The lemon martini thingies we had didn't hurt either.

4. A Good Season
I know I go on and on about my beloved Boys in Orange, but I do need to give thanks for them. They've had a hard few years and this season was no exception - a new coaching staff, problems on the field, problems off the field, problems with other coaches. The list goes on. We end our regular season 7-5. On paper that's not the greatest, but I couldn't be more thrilled. They tried hard, they played smart, they learned from their mistakes and they never gave up. They could be 5-7 and I would still be as happy. This past Saturday in their win over Kentucky they did give me a flash-back to two years ago (speaking of Granny), but we all survived. So, for that game and every other game this year, I thank you. Hope you get to go to Tampa for your bowl game. But, if you should end up playing here in Nashville, I will be there with bells on. Orange bells at that.

5. Digital Cameras and Our Beautiful Country
I remember the days of non-digital cameras when I was (briefly) a photography minor and a photographer for our school paper. And I remember the anguish of ruining roll after roll of film while trying to process them in a dark room. And I remember the disappointment in crappy photo after crappy photo on those rolls that I didn't ruin. But no more! Go ahead - take a hundred pictures! Delete the ones that suck! Take more! Upload them to Flickr! Life is good!

So behold - vacation picture highlights! I did not include pictures of Las Vegas - only of Red Rock Canyon. I didn't actually take that many pictures of Las Vegas for some reason (no, I was not drunk) and the ones I did take are mostly of people's faces. And I have a pact with those people. It isn't "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas," but rather, "My picture shows up on your damn Facebook page - your picture goes on my blog." So, unless someone violates that pact, I give you only pictures of beautiful rocks and desert plants.

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Week in Review - Learning Las Vegas

So, on those lists everyone makes of places they'd like to go, you know, "Before I Die," "If I had all the Money in the World," "Just to Say I've Been," "Because George Clooney has a House There," etc., Las Vegas has been on... well... lets just say it's never been on any lists of any places I'd like to go under any circumstances. But I have friends who love to go there and they twisted my arm. Actually, they didn't really twist my arm so much as I'm a sucker for peer pressure...

But you know what? It was so much fun!

I even learned some things. And who goes to Vegas to learn stuff?? Anyway... I wasn't there for a whole week, but nothing else happened the other three days, so here's my Top Five - Vegas Edition:


1. Clowns: Still Creepy
I saw a Cirque du Soleil show - which I also wasn't sure I would enjoy, but did. My fear was that there would be clowns and mimes. And I DO NOT enjoy clowns or mimes. There was a bit of that, and it was indeed dreadful, but I got over it. The rest of the show was too amazing to be put off by them for too long. If you happen to be in Las Vegas and can go and see "O" (the one with the water), it is worth every penny.


2. Adding is not My Thing
I learned to play Black Jack. Well, I sort of learned and then sat between two friends who know how to play and would knee me under the table whenever I did something wrong. We played for a few hours at one table and the same two dealers kept switching back and forth every 20 or 30 minutes. One would add up your cards for you as he dealt and one wouldn't. I'll let you guess as to which dealer I tipped more. At one point I was up $100. And then lost it. But I broke even with my gambling money overall for the weekend, so I considered that a win.


3. I Can Still Find a Way to Be a Geek, Even in Vegas
One morning we were lounging around the hotel room and one of my friends was flipping through one of those visitor bureau magazines they have free in the hotel and said, "here's five dollars off admission to Bodies the Exhibition - what's that?" I jumped up from my knitting (yes, I did bring my knitting to Las Vegas), startling the others with my excitement. I've been wanting to see this exhibit so badly and the closest it's coming to Nashville is Cincinnati and Atlanta. And do you have any idea how hard it is to get someone to take a road trip with you when you start the conversation, "Hey! Wanna drive four hours to go see an exhibit of perfectly preserved cadavers?!" Needless to say, no one else in the room really wanted to see it either - even though it was only in the hotel across the street - so that afternoon I went by myself. And it was fantastic. Again, worth every penny. If for no other reason than you can regale your travelling companions over dinner with phrases like "do you know how big our liver is?" Or, "and then there was a case with just someones skin..."


4. Vegas May Have Been More Fun Than I Thought, but Some of It Was Just as Icky as I Imagined
I have this theory that you could ban all signage and advertising for strip clubs, peep shows and whore houses and financially they would do just fine because, really, if someone wants to partake in that kind of thing, they're going to find your establishment even if you don't have a giant hot pink and purple tacky neon arrow sign pointing them in the right direction. And they will certainly find their way without you lining the sidewalks of Las Vegas with people shaking fliers and coupons at them as they walk by. Turns out these people lining the sidewalks are not allowed to touch you, so they do this weird flicking thing with their fliers as they shove them in front of your face. They may not have been allowed to touch me, but there was more than one occasion where I wanted my elbow to make contact with a few of their noses.


5. It is the Land of Extremes
Everything there is bigger, longer, faster, taller, flashier and crazier. You don't just get a margarita. You get a guava mango margarita. In a three-foot tall glass. That you can drink while you're waiting in line for a thrill ride. But not just any thrill ride. One at the top of a 110-story building. And then you can continue drinking your margarita while walking down the street or shopping in the mini-market on the way back to your hotel room which you can only get to by going around the 20-foot gold-leafed lion statue, through the giant casino and past eight different restaurants and bars - from Wolfgang Puck's to McDonald's to something blaring club music where the waitresses dance on the bar every so often in leather miniskirts. Literally, the walk from my room to the Bodies exhibit in the hotel across the street took a solid thirty minutes. Madness.

Even nature is extreme there. We went hiking one day in Red Rock Canyon and it was amazing. Plants growing in a little crack in a rock. Mountains just jutting straight up out of the earth - no rolling foothills like I'm used to. In the sun it was hot and you were sweating and spraying yourself down with sunscreen, but step two feet into the shade and you were shivering and had to put a jacket on. Also, the desert is extremely dry. Did you know that? My now really chapped lips (and nose and ears and sinuses) were a bit in denial, apparently.

Anyway... All-in-all I give Las Vegas two very tired and chapped and poor (but happy!) thumbs-up.

Top Five List - Week in Review

1. Everything is Relative
Nobel Peace Prize, huh? Interesting. Bono is probably like, "dude, I totally have to have a shot at this now." Not that I'm saying Barack isn't worthy, or that Bono wouldn't be either for that matter, but it was all a bit surprising. Most surprising is that part of the reason he was awarded this was just because he put forth the idea (just the idea!) that if the US is going to be a world leader it should maybe be a partner with our allies and be leading with the policies they can all agree on. Fancy that. My idealist side is all warm and fuzzy thinking that maybe world peace is somewhat achievable if we break it down into simple things like this. But then my snarky pessimistic side pipes up and says "gee, what a seriously fucked-up eight years we all just lived through if this is a revolutionary concept."

But back to warm and fuzzy...

2. Dying from all the adorable
Anyone watch Jim and Pam get married on The Office last night? What a roller-coastery ride of squirm-inducing embarrassment and swoon-worthy cuteness. That Jim Halpert. I love him. And, thanks to Katie, I even have the magnetized note pad on my refrigerator to prove it. And, if fictional Jim and Pam weren't adorable enough, the real John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer are pretty damn adorable too. Video proof here.

And while I was watching...


3. Chipped
I am missing part of the girlie chip in my brain. I think I have half of it. If I'm lucky. It makes me that weird species known as Tomboy in a Dress. The kind that remembers who designed the gown Sarah Jessica Parker wore to the 2005 Emmy's, but can also tell you how many touchdown passes Peyton Manning threw last year. The kind that is a shoe/purse whore, but can't stand the color pink. The kind that always wants her toenails painted pretty colors, but can't stand for her fingernails to be painted.

And thus my point... I actually have pretty, girlie fingernails that other, more girlie-girls like to fawn over. But alas, they are attached to ugly tomboy fingers and hands. And I hate to have them painted. Occasionally though (like last night, while I was watching The Office) when I have purchased a new bottle of nail polish and am painting my toes I think "I have nice fingernails, maybe I'll paint them." And then I do. And then it dries. And then I think "Lord. This looks like someone put fake nails on Vienna sausages." And then I take it off. So that all happened last night EXCEPT I couldn't find my fingernail polish remover. So here I sit today. Typing with nicely polished nails. Well, not really, as I am also not a graceful girl and have already managed to chip three of them. Gah!

But speaking of Peyton Manning...

4. Pretty is as Pretty Does
I have a group of friends who enjoys harassing me over - well, over a lot of things - but often over the fact that I do not find Tom Brady attractive. I'm sorry. Shoot me. He's just not my cup of tea. I happen to believe that in the world of NFL quarterbacks, you fall into one of two camps - Bradys or Mannings. Being a good, red-blooded Southern, SEC football-loving girl, I am squarely in the Manning camp. I don't really find Peyton "hot" per se, but that Eli is a cutie. Regardless, I can't just go by "hotness" alone. There has to be some substance there behind any said hotness. And not only do I not find Mr. Brady to be hot, I also just don't find much else there to work with. So, whereas neither Manning boy may be of Greek God status, their personalities make them much more attractive to me.

So, this same group of friends at dinner this week launched into me again about my dislike of Tom Brady and then challenged me with "well then who DO you think is hot? Give us a top five." And you know - it was hard. The first two were easy, George Clooney and Johnny Depp. And then I stalled. And then thankfully someone changed the subject. Because again, it's not just about being pretty. I mean, I could have added Jude Law to that list because, mercy, that is a pretty man. But even if you believe a fraction of what you read about him in People magazine? Ew. Ick. David Beckham? Also rather hot, but have you heard him speak? And seen his wife? Total detractors for me. If we'd finished the list I would have added Colin Firth - but really, is he "hot?" I don't know. I love him. John Cusack? Hot? Perhaps. But definitely on my list. Rounding out the top five would have been Dave Grohl. Also, definitely not traditionally hot, but I do so love him. So very much.

Which brings me to...

5. Sibling Text Message Theater
Dave Grohl played in Nashville on Monday night. Not with the Foo Fighters or the surviving members of Nirvana. Or even Will Ferrell. It was some other ensemble. I did not go, but a friend did. And it turns out they played at a venue where my brother works. Said friend ran into said brother and they chatted while having a smoke. Turns out my brother MET DAVE GROHL backstage! Shortly after learning this bit of information I turned to the trusty qwerty keyboard on my phone:

Me: Just saw Melissa. DUDE! You met Dave Grohl!?

Brother: How's her foot?

Me: Little better. I REPEAT - DUDE! You met Dave Grohl?! WTF!!!!!

Brother: It's not like we had lunch.

Me: BUT STILL! I love him. Was he nice? What was he wearing? What did he say? What did you say?

Brother: He was cool. He said he was looking for a short, dark-haired, single girl he could spend Saturdays watching UT football games with. I said I didn't know any.

And that was the week that was. Happy Friday.

Not a Top Five - Just a Random List of Crap Because this Week is Finally Over

Financial Blue Moon
All of those non-regular, medium-sized purchases that crop up every couple of months somehow have all happened to crop up this month - heart worm and flea meds (for the dogs), haircut (for me), oil change (for the car) etc. It's been a week of "Hmmm... what do I want to do for lunch today? Oh, that's right, drive across town and give someone $60." Admittedly, I could forgo the haircut until next month, but the thought spending a birthday with this much grey hair is not pleasant. And I have had a kind of shitty week so I feel that for the sake of my own mental health, a visit to my friend with the scissors and magic conditioner is warranted. And much cheaper than a therapist.


Greeting Card Smack-down
It is hard to find a good birthday/get well/sympathy/whatever card these days. To add to the task of finding a good card, there is the new added joy of sharing the aisle with someone who feels compelled to fully open ALL of the cards that play music and listen to each song ALL the way through. It's like being in a movie theater with a bunch of cell phones going off. I know. I'm just being petty and bitchy. But seriously. The collective nerves of humanity are a bit frayed right now so if you're one of these people pushing your luck by opening the "Who Let the Dogs Out" card over and over again, you are really just asking to be slapped. With one of those sympathy cards that has glitter on it. So that it will be both ironic and scratchy.



Gert vs. Couch Update
Well, after said shitty week, this match-up did not happen as the game was on ESPN and I was in serious need of an adult beverage and the idea of drinking alone while listening to the game on the radio was really not a level of pathetic that I was prepared to stoop to. The evening was instead turned into Gert vs. Pint of Beer (or more) in the Dive She Normally Reserves for Fridays. But more importantly...

Whose team flailed about all season and still ended up number one in the SEC East?

That's right:

Tennessee 86
South Carolina 70

I would have made up some humorous title for the photo like I did for the others, but when the team is the Gamecocks there's only so much you can do without getting tacky. Go Vols!

Lenten Update
The no-plastic pledge is going fairly well. It's really hard though. I say drinking Starbucks from a cup with a plastic lid. If nothing else, someone in a third world country will be getting a nice box of change from the ladies of two certain environmental non-profit organizations in the Nashville area.

The photo part is coming along slowly but I hope to have some to share soon.


God Bless YouTube
It's even cheaper therapy than my hair stylist. For a happy end to crappy week, I give you a fabulous video of music and highlights from The Office.

Happy Friday.

Week in Review / Top Five: The Sleepy Edition

No Rest for the Wicked: Having a bout of insomnia this week. Maybe it's because of the economy. Maybe it's because I finally started the refinancing on my house - because in addition to worrying about things when they are going poorly, I also worry about things when they are going well. I don't know. Last night I fell asleep on the couch sometime during ER with the light on and the dog door open in the mud room. I woke up at 2:00 am completely freaked out because I couldn't figure out at first what time it was, a bad storm was coming so it was all lightning and thundery outside (which scares the beejeezus out of me on a good day), there was an infomercial playing on TV with that guy who shouts, and one of my dogs was out in the yard barking at the thunder. Outstanding. I was so rattled that I didn't go back to sleep until 4:00.

from www.idiomsbykids.com

Lenten Update: The insomnia has left me some time to sort out the bin of photos. They are now in chronologically-ordered stacks. Progress. The plastic thing is going OK. The good news is that two good friends / coworkers have decided to join me in the no-plastic pledge. AND at the Ash Wednesday service I picked up a nifty little mite box from Episcopal Relief and Development to collect money during Lent. So I brought one back to work and put it in my office so that way if we do end up using a plastic container, we put money in the box.

After-work mixer at web designer's office + plastic cup of beer = two quarters in the mite box

Just how dumb do they think I am?: I mentioned in my last recap/top five list that I recently aced an Oscar dress quiz on People magazine's website. Well, I also aced a follow-up quiz this week about the jewelry worn by Sunday's Oscar attendees. But wait. Before you get all impressed with my useless knowledge, let me show you just how easy this quiz was. Test takers were shown an image of a torso featuring the jewelry in question but not showing the celebrity's face. Then you were given several names to choose from. If you even half paid attention to the Oscar's you could have gotten most of them right by identifying the dresses in the pictures. But no...

This was one of the photos:


The first option on the multiple choice:

QUEEN LATIFAH

No, I'm not kidding. I'll admit that this photo was the most challenging in the quiz. It's Madonna. She wasn't nominated, didn't present and I don't really even remember seeing her on any of the pre-shows, but the biceps would have helped to narrow it down even if I hadn't been given Queen Frickin Latifah to help me cull the field. Now, I know that People Magazine isn't exactly the New Yorker of weekly celebrity-centric magazines. Hell, it isn't even the Entertainment Weekly of weekly celebrity-centric magazines. But really. I think they might be underestimating their readers a bit.


Speaking of fashion (Part A): Can't forget the rest of the Oscars, can we? I think this was one of the best years ever. Everything had such a nice 1920's / Great Gatsby look to it - from the stage to the gowns. It was as though the producers sent out a memo to all the attendees letting them know what the set was going to look like so that they could plan their outfits.

My favorite:

She just looked great all the way around - hair, makeup, jewelry, and I loved the red bag (and I love that her name is Taraji P. Henson - because otherwise we might confuse her with the many other Taraji Hensons). I saw her shoes on TV and they looked fabulous too. Not that I'm any example of fashion (Gert's outfit today: trainers, Gap kahkis, long-sleeved white Old Navy layering tee under short-sleeved blue polo from Eddie Bauer. No makeup. No earrings. My purse is cool though...) but I did spot this as a Roberto Cavali dress - he loves those ragged unfinished edges. This same dress in the hands of a lot of other designers and she would have looked like a fancy mummy.

Other likes: Anne Hathaway, Tina Fey, Queen Latifah, Marisa Tomei, and Penelope Cruz. My Robert Pattinson looked rather dashing and fit the look of the 20's with the narrow-cut bow tie, lapels and pants of his Dolce & Gabbana tuxedo. It was so kind of the Academy to seat him so that he would be in the shot every time the camera was on Mickey Rourke. I considered sending them a thank you card.

Disappointing: Sarah Jessica Parker and Reese Witherspoon. They weren't the worst dressed by any means, but I just expect so much from them. Especially SJP. I adore her. I may not have on makeup or earrings today, but you can be damn sure I'm wearing her perfume.

Speaking of Fashion (Part B): LOOK who's on the cover of Vogue!

I actually gasped when I saw this. I can't wait to buy it and see the other pictures inside. It's going in my permanent collection along with this:

Is that five? I hope so. I'm going to take a nap. Happy Friday.