Top Five List - Week in Review

1. Everything is Relative
Nobel Peace Prize, huh? Interesting. Bono is probably like, "dude, I totally have to have a shot at this now." Not that I'm saying Barack isn't worthy, or that Bono wouldn't be either for that matter, but it was all a bit surprising. Most surprising is that part of the reason he was awarded this was just because he put forth the idea (just the idea!) that if the US is going to be a world leader it should maybe be a partner with our allies and be leading with the policies they can all agree on. Fancy that. My idealist side is all warm and fuzzy thinking that maybe world peace is somewhat achievable if we break it down into simple things like this. But then my snarky pessimistic side pipes up and says "gee, what a seriously fucked-up eight years we all just lived through if this is a revolutionary concept."

But back to warm and fuzzy...

2. Dying from all the adorable
Anyone watch Jim and Pam get married on The Office last night? What a roller-coastery ride of squirm-inducing embarrassment and swoon-worthy cuteness. That Jim Halpert. I love him. And, thanks to Katie, I even have the magnetized note pad on my refrigerator to prove it. And, if fictional Jim and Pam weren't adorable enough, the real John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer are pretty damn adorable too. Video proof here.

And while I was watching...


3. Chipped
I am missing part of the girlie chip in my brain. I think I have half of it. If I'm lucky. It makes me that weird species known as Tomboy in a Dress. The kind that remembers who designed the gown Sarah Jessica Parker wore to the 2005 Emmy's, but can also tell you how many touchdown passes Peyton Manning threw last year. The kind that is a shoe/purse whore, but can't stand the color pink. The kind that always wants her toenails painted pretty colors, but can't stand for her fingernails to be painted.

And thus my point... I actually have pretty, girlie fingernails that other, more girlie-girls like to fawn over. But alas, they are attached to ugly tomboy fingers and hands. And I hate to have them painted. Occasionally though (like last night, while I was watching The Office) when I have purchased a new bottle of nail polish and am painting my toes I think "I have nice fingernails, maybe I'll paint them." And then I do. And then it dries. And then I think "Lord. This looks like someone put fake nails on Vienna sausages." And then I take it off. So that all happened last night EXCEPT I couldn't find my fingernail polish remover. So here I sit today. Typing with nicely polished nails. Well, not really, as I am also not a graceful girl and have already managed to chip three of them. Gah!

But speaking of Peyton Manning...

4. Pretty is as Pretty Does
I have a group of friends who enjoys harassing me over - well, over a lot of things - but often over the fact that I do not find Tom Brady attractive. I'm sorry. Shoot me. He's just not my cup of tea. I happen to believe that in the world of NFL quarterbacks, you fall into one of two camps - Bradys or Mannings. Being a good, red-blooded Southern, SEC football-loving girl, I am squarely in the Manning camp. I don't really find Peyton "hot" per se, but that Eli is a cutie. Regardless, I can't just go by "hotness" alone. There has to be some substance there behind any said hotness. And not only do I not find Mr. Brady to be hot, I also just don't find much else there to work with. So, whereas neither Manning boy may be of Greek God status, their personalities make them much more attractive to me.

So, this same group of friends at dinner this week launched into me again about my dislike of Tom Brady and then challenged me with "well then who DO you think is hot? Give us a top five." And you know - it was hard. The first two were easy, George Clooney and Johnny Depp. And then I stalled. And then thankfully someone changed the subject. Because again, it's not just about being pretty. I mean, I could have added Jude Law to that list because, mercy, that is a pretty man. But even if you believe a fraction of what you read about him in People magazine? Ew. Ick. David Beckham? Also rather hot, but have you heard him speak? And seen his wife? Total detractors for me. If we'd finished the list I would have added Colin Firth - but really, is he "hot?" I don't know. I love him. John Cusack? Hot? Perhaps. But definitely on my list. Rounding out the top five would have been Dave Grohl. Also, definitely not traditionally hot, but I do so love him. So very much.

Which brings me to...

5. Sibling Text Message Theater
Dave Grohl played in Nashville on Monday night. Not with the Foo Fighters or the surviving members of Nirvana. Or even Will Ferrell. It was some other ensemble. I did not go, but a friend did. And it turns out they played at a venue where my brother works. Said friend ran into said brother and they chatted while having a smoke. Turns out my brother MET DAVE GROHL backstage! Shortly after learning this bit of information I turned to the trusty qwerty keyboard on my phone:

Me: Just saw Melissa. DUDE! You met Dave Grohl!?

Brother: How's her foot?

Me: Little better. I REPEAT - DUDE! You met Dave Grohl?! WTF!!!!!

Brother: It's not like we had lunch.

Me: BUT STILL! I love him. Was he nice? What was he wearing? What did he say? What did you say?

Brother: He was cool. He said he was looking for a short, dark-haired, single girl he could spend Saturdays watching UT football games with. I said I didn't know any.

And that was the week that was. Happy Friday.

What I'd Like My Tombstone to Say

OK, so "The Office" returned, but was not new.

There were four episodes though and in between were little bits by Mr. Krasinski to plug his new movie. It helped make up for the fact that the episodes weren't new, I guess. Have to say though that a Clooney cameo would have helped a little more...

But I did get to see one of my more-favorite episodes of the season where Stanley threatens to transfer to the Utica branch. The whole Michael / Dwight escapade got to be a bit much, but it's all worth it at the end to see Michael, laying defeated and distraught on the floor of his office, dictating a help-wanted ad to Pam for replacing Stanley: "Wanted: middle-aged black man with sass."

And if that weren't fabulous enough, he adds:

"Big butt, bigger heart."

Thursday Recap / Weekend Preview

"The Office": This week it was the perfect example of what I love about "The Office" and what I don't like so much. The whole Michael in the wilderness concept overall was kind of stupid - and a lame way to be part of NBC's "Green Week" (30 Rock did it perfectly and hilariously, however. Yea Al!). His antics while out in the forest were funny, but not what I love. The genius part was the whole Jim-in-charge / birthday scenario. Because who hasn't experienced this level of nonsense at work? Jim is both right and wrong; silly and making sense. Everyone else is also all of these things as well. I loved it! The best though - Jim's impression of Toby; Jim and Pam's quick exchange about meeting in the conference room; and then of course Michael somehow becoming the hero and cool boss at the end. And I loved all of the snippets of Michael scaring people for their birthday. So great.

Everything else on TV last night: Also great. "Grey's Anatomy" finally seems to be back to the original show that I love. I was a complete mess with the whole injured mother / adopted child story-line. But, I'm a mess when it comes to anything about orphaned/adopted children so that was kind of a given (I'm trying to decide if I can handle seeing Martian Child in the theater or not). Then, of course, it had to be followed up by one of my favorite Sex-in-the-City reruns of Miranda's wedding / Samatha's breast cancer / Carrie's pink Oscar de la Renta dress from The Russian.

The rest of life: I'm trying to get ready to be in a multi-person yard sale on Saturday with my friend, Claudia, and several of her girl friends that I've been getting to know. It's been great cleaning closets and looking for stuff to get rid of, but my house is so small that there's not an extra/empty corner - let alone room - to stack it all in. So, of course, it's in the living room, breakfast area and mud room / dogs' room. And believe you me, they are NOT happy to be sharing their den with crap I've dragged out of the garage. Apparently dirt and dust from foreign objects = bad; Own dirt and dust they've dragged in from the yard = good.

I love having yard sales. It's one of those quaint neighborhoody things that I always picture being very Martha Stewartish with mugs of cocoa, vintage kitchen items arranged on metal patio tables, old worn out chairs, etc. It never quite ends up that way, but it's still fun nonetheless.

All proceeds will be going to fund Sunday's Christmas Village outing with Katie and to a desperately-needed bike tune-up so that I can hopefully get my fat ass riding again.

Saturday is also the UT / Arkansas game. Don't really know what to think of this one. I figure it will either be a blow-out defeat a la the Alabama game or a down-to-the-wire-make-me-want-to-puke-last-minute victory like the South Carolina game. Not exactly looking forward to either. Not that it's going to keep me from watching either... GO VOLS!!!

"This would be a huge coop, people"

Friday's "The Office" Re-cap & Football Preview

Ok, "The Office" wasn't fabulous last night, but it was still good and quotable. And apparently "The Office" Convention is going on right now at the University of Scranton and Al Roker went to cover it.

How cute is this?


Al Roker's day in ‘The Office’

This week has kicked my ass, so that's all I've got. And as far as football goes, I don't even have the energy to go into the details of tomorrow's game. Or document all of the reasons I loathe Visor Boy. Or how I can't believe a once-likable team like South Carolina could have such questionable hiring practices. Instead, I'll focus my end-of-week animosity toward someone/thing else...

Dear ESPN:

Last Saturday you wouldn't give one of the most historic rivalries in college football the time of day, presumably because both teams are a bit on the mediocre side this year. Fair enough, I suppose.

This Saturday, however, you plan to broacast our game against the Gamecocks despite the fact that South Carolina is in the mediocre boat right there with us. So what's up?

Could it be that this is the best game you could get for that time slot? No offense to my boys in orange, but I seriously doubt it.

Or, could it be that you're banking on Visor Boy beating us again and if it happens you'd like it to be on your network?

Call me a suspicious, glass-half-empty, conspiracy theorist, but I'm guessing this one is a little closer to the truth.

And you wonder why our collective state hates you?

Love from the trailer park,

Gert

Is it Whoever or Whomever?

After two mildly disappointing first episodes of The Office this season, my favorite show on TV is finally back to normal with last week's and this week's episodes. I don't know how they are able to make me laugh hysterically, cringe in embarassment and then completely break my heart all in the span of a few minutes. And I didn't think they could top a conference room scene like last week's bouncing DVD icon, but this week with the "whoever / whomever" discussion was one of the most brilliantly written and acted scenes I've seen on that show.

Other Genius Moments:
- The whole Pam / Michael opening shtick about the movies. "Meryl Streep is the bad guy. You never see it coming." "Million Dollar Baby. He's gonna try to kill me."
- Shrute Farms. Pam immediately calling to make a reservation from two desks away. Mose running along beside the car. The irrigation room. Dwight's Dundie Awards on the mantle. Dwight reading Harry Potter to Jim and Pam. (If you go to Trip Advisor you can really look up Shrute Farms).
- Daryl to Kelly: "You need to get a hold of the not-crazy part of yourself." Kelly: "Daryl Phillbin is the most complicated man I've ever known. Who says exactly what they mean? What kind of game is that?"
- Andy supposedly moon-walking past Angela's desk 10 times and then wondering why she still won't go out with him.
- The whole Jim / Dwight scene in the stairwell and Dwight playing "You Give Love a Bad Name" on his recorder out by the dumpster.

And don't even get me started about the whole Jim / Pam storyline. I don't know who was more swoon-worthy last night Jim or Dr. Shepherd.

Which brings up another point... Why is the majority of TV the rest of the week complete crap and everything I want watch on all at the same time on Thursdays? NBC is must-see TV on Thursday. NOT ABC. It's how God intended. It's like one big conspiracy to get me to buy TiVo. I think I'd like to speak to whomever is in charge of programming at ABC... or is it whoever...