Monday, March 2, 2009

Disturbance in the Force

So. I read that Calista Flockhart has never seen Star Wars.

Never. Ever.

I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt at first, Calista. When I glanced at the headline I thought "eh, well... maybe you're a few years older than I am... and in 1977 maybe you were of the age where some girls would not have enjoyed Star Wars. I don't see how, but I suppose it's plausible...."

Oh wait. No, no it's not. Because why?

YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY HAN SOLO!

That's why. And I'm sorry. But that's just all kinds of wrong.

Did you not realize that's who he was? Did you have him confused with Richard Dreyfus? I mean, they're both in American Graffiti.... they both did science fiction movies in the 70's... it's not completely out of the realm of possibility. Because that's the only reason I could think of for a person who was planning to actually marry Han Solo to have never seen Star Wars.

I'm really trying to be understanding because, I have to say, I'm a little worried.

If you haven't seen Star Wars, what else haven't you seen?

I mean, you do realize that on TV you're married to Sodapop Curtis / Billy Hicks, right?

And remember? You were in The Birdcage. So you know, right? That guy playing one of your future fathers-in-law?

That was Mork. From Ork.

Just want to make sure...

1 comment:

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Okay, at first I was like, "So? Some chicks don't dig Sci Fi." But then when you pointed out (I'd have figured it out eventually) that she's going to marry Han Solo? Yeah. Ten types of wrong going on there. Amen.