Observations from the Basement #3

Nothing a Good Sharpie Couldn't Solve:

The first debate was a bit dull. Is that a good thing? I don't know. At least it happened. I do wish they would stop calling them debates though. They're not. A debate is supposed to be an organized argument between different opinions on various issues. Not two people talking about how much the other person sucks. I don't want to know how one candidate supposedly voted on this issue five years ago. I don't want to be told that the other person will totally ruin the universe. I don't want to hear personal anecdotes or attempts at humor. I want them to actually answer the damn question and not in slogans or catch phrases that only serve to get people all riled up. Save it for the ads and campaign speeches.

So I vote that flip charts be used at all debates. As you talk, you must write your ideas in a list of bullet points so that we can see when you're done if what you've said actually has any merit or is just a circuitous, nonsensical pile of crap. Just think about it - when the debate is over, we'd have this big visual representation of what each candidate wants to do. Then Jim Lehrer could go up on stage with a big red marker - or Tom Brokaw could do it onscreen with a telestrator like they do for football games - and cross through anything that was mudslinging or conjecture or didn't directly answer the question. We would also get an idea about each candidate's penmanship and list-making skills. I for one would enjoy that.


A Long Strange Trip:

New season of "Amazing Race." Yay! I looove this show. It's exciting and educational. There is the obligatory melodrama and silliness that can grate on my nerves, but in the world of reality programming, I think this kicks ass. Plus, it gives people like me hope. With all of the physical challenges that I would totally suck at, what trips teams up the most seems to be the real challenges of international travel: not screaming in English at people who don't speak it, reading a map, using public transportation, and driving a stick-shift. I happen to rock at all of those things. Oh, and rowing a boat. I guess it's kind of a physical challenge but I am capable of rowing a boat. I mean, really, is it that hard? Yet every year there's a major meltdown with at least one team - who was somehow able to climb up the side of a castle on a ladder constructed of seaweed like champs earlier in the day - who can't row a frickin' boat. It's unbelievable. If I ever see challenges added that also involve using a label-maker, parallel parking, pop culture trivia, or a scavenger hunt at Target - that million dollars will be mine.


In Memoriam:

Don't know about you, but my salads have been tasting very sad.