Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Dear Universe: If You'd Like to Reach Me...

I'll be in my basement.

I told a friend yesterday, that with all of the things going on with you right now, maybe it was time for me to take my Trusy Tornado Preparedness Backpack and head to the cellar to live with the crickets for a bit.

It's a very cute (LL Bean. Duh.) and chocked full of goodies like bottled water, a hand-crank flashlight, tiny battery-operated radio, granola bars, canned dog food (not for me) and a small first-aid kit. If I throw in a crossword puzzle book, my back issues of Real Simple, and a notebook on which to write my manifesto, I think I could get by for a few days while you work out some of your issues.

And by then maybe

this...

and this...

and this...

and this...

and this ridiculous nonsense ...

and hell, of course how could I forget this...

have time to get better, go away, or for this freaky-assed thing to get all revved up again and swallow us in one giant gulp.

So please let me know when it's all better. Just drop by and stomp on the kitchen floor. I'll know its you.

Ta-ta for now,

Gert

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Big-time shudders lately...
Love Real Simple.
While you're down there fixing the world, can you figure out how to get my books published?
I'm taking two aspirin and a good book and crawling into bed. Call me when it's all fixed.

Anonymous said...

I will send extra supplies because I think you might be down there for a while.