Rant-a-Palooza

I’ve been up since 4:30am and have gotten all riled up listening to the news for three hours. Turns out there's some really irritating crap going on out there. Who knew? Let’s see…

Locally
Robert Pratt (Franklin, TN), a subcontractor for Fischer Homes, was sentenced to 18 months in jail for hiring undocumented workers. Wow, sprawl-mongers AND the racist and hypocritical movement disguised as patriotism /national security that is “border security” all rolled into one story. Santa visited Gerty early this year.

Don't get me wrong. I'm fully aware that illegal is illegal. I just think that issues like this can't be simplified so easily and that life doesn't exist in a vacuum (but if it did, I would like to be in a Dyson DC 15 Animal, please). My problem with all of this anger toward “illegals” is that it's only directed toward dark-skinned individuals. The same dark-skinned people that are building our houses and picking our vegetables so that we can buy 3,000 more square feet than we really need, or tomatoes in January for next-to-nothing, and live our cushy and relatively inexpensive lifestyles. Do we not think there are white people here illegally? Try to get a drink in Boston from a legal Irish bartender. I dare ya. So where are the "minutemen" with their jeeps and their rifles driving around Harvard Square?

As for mister sub-contractor - who happens to live in the wealthiest part of the wealthiest county in our state and one of the top 50 wealthiest counties in the country, by the way (guess we know how he affords it) - I think maybe he could stand to spend his 18 months wandering about the US/Mexico border. Plus, I'd be interested in knowing who he's partial to politically. Just curious. 'Cause if he was hiring them furiners, I'm sure he's a liberal. Plus he lives in Williamson County and I know that the last time I met a lefty-bleeding-heart-let's-let-everyone-in-the-country-and-give-them-a-job-and-buy-them-a-Coke-liberal from Williamson County was... um.... oh wait, that's right - NEVER.

Regionally
Sonny Perdue, governor of Georgia, held a prayer service for rain earlier this week. Yesterday it finally rained in the Atlanta area. Bravo, Sonny. Did Jesus also tell you to check weather.com first? Perhaps instead of praying for rain you should have been praying that the city of Atlanta will stop paving over every goddamn thing they can get their hands on, destroying the water table and increasing the air temperature and therefore helping to cause this drought you’re asking God to end? Or, I don’t know, you could try being a PUBLIC SERVANT AND ACTUALLY WORKING INSTEAD SPENDING TAX-PAYER DOLLARS TO ASK GOD TO DO STUFF FOR YOU. Fiscally-conservative-strict-constitutionalist my ass.

Nationally
I don’t think I can handle 12 more months of presidential election hoo-ha. Especially if all we’re going to hear about the debates are the Sports Center highlights. It’s fine if you share with me a witty comment Hillary made about her pantsuit, but I have a hard time believing that there wasn’t at least one pithy comment Joe Biden made that couldn't have been played instead of the Clinton/OBama/Edwards cross-talking silliness about universal health care. I mean it’s Joe Biden. He had to have said SOMETHING worth hearing. The man never shuts up.

I’m still holding out for a viable third-party candidate or independent. I want ground-shaking, paradigm-shifting change in this country, not just variations of the same thing but with a different animal mascot. I thought I had a Democratic candidate that was truly different and could get me close, but now I’m not sure.

As for the Republicans, I couldn't be happier. The top candidates are two skirt-chasers and a flip-flopper from Massachusetts. Thanks again Santa! (I've been VERY good this year) But seriously, how are those glass houses / black pots workin' out for you fellas? Comfortable?

Internationally
I know that I should be more knowledgeable about international affairs AND I should be more concerned about what’s going on in Pakistan. However... from what I can tell, this all just goes to my theory that a country’s nuclear armament should be allocated – or revoked – based on the basic abilities and choices of its current leader. Much like the Soup Nazi. Then, if your nuclear weapons get taken away, just elect someone with common sense - or overthrow the current guy and replace him with someone less ridiculous – and then you can have them back. For example, the guy in charge of your country has a dead badger of a toupee on his head and still wants us to take him seriously? NO NUKES FOR YOU! Your leader says that the holocaust never happened and/or that there are no homosexuals in his country? NO NUKES FOR YOU! Your leader says “nucular” instead of “nuclear” and he gets elected twice!?! NO NUKES FOR YOU!

OK. I think I’m ready to go to work now.