Dear Internets / All Three of My Readers:
April is officially kicking my ass.
Longer letter later.
Probably in May.
Your BFF,
Gert
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Today's Post is Brought to You by...
The letter
And the number
Thank you to the Tennessee men's and women's basketball teams for a great season.
In other news....
Only 9 days 23 hours and 8 minutes
Heh Heh
GO VOLS!!
Friday, April 4, 2008
What I'd Like My Tombstone to Say
OK, so "The Office" returned, but was not new.
There were four episodes though and in between were little bits by Mr. Krasinski to plug his new movie. It helped make up for the fact that the episodes weren't new, I guess. Have to say though that a Clooney cameo would have helped a little more...
But I did get to see one of my more-favorite episodes of the season where Stanley threatens to transfer to the Utica branch. The whole Michael / Dwight escapade got to be a bit much, but it's all worth it at the end to see Michael, laying defeated and distraught on the floor of his office, dictating a help-wanted ad to Pam for replacing Stanley: "Wanted: middle-aged black man with sass."
And if that weren't fabulous enough, he adds:
"Big butt, bigger heart."
There were four episodes though and in between were little bits by Mr. Krasinski to plug his new movie. It helped make up for the fact that the episodes weren't new, I guess. Have to say though that a Clooney cameo would have helped a little more...
But I did get to see one of my more-favorite episodes of the season where Stanley threatens to transfer to the Utica branch. The whole Michael / Dwight escapade got to be a bit much, but it's all worth it at the end to see Michael, laying defeated and distraught on the floor of his office, dictating a help-wanted ad to Pam for replacing Stanley: "Wanted: middle-aged black man with sass."
And if that weren't fabulous enough, he adds:
"Big butt, bigger heart."
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Omission #1
On Monday I also went to my father and step-mother's house for dinner. Got to see a step-brother that was in town on business, AND got new pictures of my niece.
My step-mother - she's quick with that camera. I narrowed down my choices to two from oh... maybe 612. By the time Mak turns one we should be able to assemble one of those little books where you bend it back and let the pages flip by quickly so it looks like a little movie. "See the baby grow right before your very eyes!"
My step-mother - she's quick with that camera. I narrowed down my choices to two from oh... maybe 612. By the time Mak turns one we should be able to assemble one of those little books where you bend it back and let the pages flip by quickly so it looks like a little movie. "See the baby grow right before your very eyes!"
But for now, here's the trailer:
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
A Birthday List
Yesterday was my birthday. Gert is an April Fool. And an old April Fool at that.
I'm not all that big of a birthday person, but this year is turning out to be one long series of small celebrations and intriguing gifts (even if some of them don't know that they are, in fact, birthday gifts).
And now I'm going to list them. Because, well, it's my birthday and it's what I do:
Saturday, March 29
I discovered Target now sells reusable shopping bags AND I got this basket made from recycled paper.
............................................................................
Sunday, March 30
Went to see Rent with Katie.
Monday, March 31
Katie bestowed a blog award upon me and declared herself a RentHead. Now, even though Rent is leaving Broadway this fall, I will be able to have it reenacted for me every year on my birthday by my dear friend, who will be known to me from now on as RentHead.
.......................................................................
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Tuesday, April 1
RentHead and her children sang "Happy Birthday"
to me over the phone.
I received a card with a picture of squirrels wearing dresses.
I went to dinner and to watch the Lady Vols on television
(and they won!).
Wednesday, April 2
Today is one of RentHead's son's birthdays (left).
Happy Birthday John!
.....................................................................
Thursday, April 3
"THE OFFICE" RETURNS!!!!
(I have a reminder written on my I 'heart' Jim magnetic note paper that RentHead gave me)
...................................................................
Friday, April 4
A movie opens, starring George Clooney AND John Krasinski.
And no, I don't care if it sucks.
.........................................................................
Saturday, April 5
I get to spend six relatively uninterrupted hours on a plane reading.
Or thinking.
Or just counting my teeth.
I don't know yet. I just know that I won't have to think about anything that needs to be done - or feel guilty about not doing any of the things that need to be done - at work or at home.
Sunday, April 6
Get to do the same thing, but in the opposite direction.
.......................................................................
Three Weeks from Now, April 23
A friend is coming to visit (hi A!) and we are going to see that guy at this place. And it is going to be kickass.
................................................................
There might even be more at some point, but for all of my griping and complaining about the ills of the world and the overall notlookingforwardness that has been the lead-up to this birthday, I would say that it has turned out pretty OK.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Basketball? Huh? What? Final Who? Bueller?
I know not what you speak of... this NCA... A is it?
Yeah. So.... About those brackets...
I had two. One from my head: fairly rational with a few bold and risky choices, written in black Sharpie and entered into a friend's office pool. And one bracket from my heart: scribbled in pencil with many eraser marks, buried somewhere in a stack of magazines in the living room. An extremely delusional little bracket, but warm and fuzzy and had it come true, would have brought about peace and harmony to all planetary systems.
The one from my head had Tennessee and UCLA playing in the final game and Tennessee losing by two points. Of course I was counting on the fact that my Vols would be out of their shooting slump and actually make it past the Sweet Sixteen...
Yeah. So... Let's move on...
The bracket from my heart had Tennessee winning (hello? were you really pondering that one at all?) and an appearance in the Final Four by a Davidson, Austin Peay, Belmont or Western Kentucky.
But no. All four number one seeds are now in the Final Four. Yawn.
And my two brackets? Headed to the great recycling bin in the sky. Sure, I guess UCLA could still win it all and "technically" I would have picked them, but where's the fun in that?
At least we still have the women's tournament. It's on cable though, so until we get a little further along I'm happy with listening to the Lady Vols on the radio.
Sunday night I listened to the end of the TNLV / Notre Dame game on the radio. While doing that I had the TV on PBS (waiting for the replay of Sense and Sensibility, of course). BBC news was on and for a brief moment I had it on mute with the closed captioning. And I tried to read British newscaster commentary while listening to Southern basketball commentary. And then a tiny aneurysm began to form in my head...
I should have just turned off the TV, but not wanting to completely back down from a challenge, I only turned off the CC. Then a story came on about cricket teams (or is it clubs?) in the India Premiere League and I quickly realized that there was not a need for any captioning, closed or otherwise.
There were clips of India Premiere League teams (IPL for those of you not in the know...) on the field doing things and then clips of fans watching cricket games in bars and restaurants, cheering on their teams. And then clips of people in business clothes with laptops, grouped around tables in a hotel ballroom. Someone at a podium would announce something and a table of people would cheer. One table represented the team from Mumbai. Another table was from the Mohali team - the "Punjab Kings," as they are known. I think. Maybe. The team is owned by a Bollywood actress. Preity something. And in the clips from her interview she seemed a little irked.
I'm not quite sure, but I would be willing to bet that Mumbai got a higher seed in their tournament than Mohali - even though their strength of schedule, conference record and league standing are waaay better. And now instead of getting matched up with some easy team like Delhi, they're going to have to face that bad-ass team from Bangalore and she is SO NOT happy about it.
I feel your pain Preity. I feel your pain.
The universal language is supposed to be math. But I think its sports. The only thing I know about cricket is that I think they wear white and take breaks to drink tea. I probably know even less about India. And I may not have interpreted that news story correctly, but I could relate to every scene. The passion. The enthusiasm. The desire to compulsively shout obscenities at a television screen.
And now I'm kind of wondering if there's a bracket and an office pool somewhere for the IPL...
If so, I'm picking Mohali to go all the way.
Go Punjab Kings! Go Lady Vols!
Yeah. So.... About those brackets...
I had two. One from my head: fairly rational with a few bold and risky choices, written in black Sharpie and entered into a friend's office pool. And one bracket from my heart: scribbled in pencil with many eraser marks, buried somewhere in a stack of magazines in the living room. An extremely delusional little bracket, but warm and fuzzy and had it come true, would have brought about peace and harmony to all planetary systems.
The one from my head had Tennessee and UCLA playing in the final game and Tennessee losing by two points. Of course I was counting on the fact that my Vols would be out of their shooting slump and actually make it past the Sweet Sixteen...
Yeah. So... Let's move on...
The bracket from my heart had Tennessee winning (hello? were you really pondering that one at all?) and an appearance in the Final Four by a Davidson, Austin Peay, Belmont or Western Kentucky.
But no. All four number one seeds are now in the Final Four. Yawn.
And my two brackets? Headed to the great recycling bin in the sky. Sure, I guess UCLA could still win it all and "technically" I would have picked them, but where's the fun in that?
At least we still have the women's tournament. It's on cable though, so until we get a little further along I'm happy with listening to the Lady Vols on the radio.
Sunday night I listened to the end of the TNLV / Notre Dame game on the radio. While doing that I had the TV on PBS (waiting for the replay of Sense and Sensibility, of course). BBC news was on and for a brief moment I had it on mute with the closed captioning. And I tried to read British newscaster commentary while listening to Southern basketball commentary. And then a tiny aneurysm began to form in my head...
I should have just turned off the TV, but not wanting to completely back down from a challenge, I only turned off the CC. Then a story came on about cricket teams (or is it clubs?) in the India Premiere League and I quickly realized that there was not a need for any captioning, closed or otherwise.
There were clips of India Premiere League teams (IPL for those of you not in the know...) on the field doing things and then clips of fans watching cricket games in bars and restaurants, cheering on their teams. And then clips of people in business clothes with laptops, grouped around tables in a hotel ballroom. Someone at a podium would announce something and a table of people would cheer. One table represented the team from Mumbai. Another table was from the Mohali team - the "Punjab Kings," as they are known. I think. Maybe. The team is owned by a Bollywood actress. Preity something. And in the clips from her interview she seemed a little irked.
I'm not quite sure, but I would be willing to bet that Mumbai got a higher seed in their tournament than Mohali - even though their strength of schedule, conference record and league standing are waaay better. And now instead of getting matched up with some easy team like Delhi, they're going to have to face that bad-ass team from Bangalore and she is SO NOT happy about it.
I feel your pain Preity. I feel your pain.
The universal language is supposed to be math. But I think its sports. The only thing I know about cricket is that I think they wear white and take breaks to drink tea. I probably know even less about India. And I may not have interpreted that news story correctly, but I could relate to every scene. The passion. The enthusiasm. The desire to compulsively shout obscenities at a television screen.
And now I'm kind of wondering if there's a bracket and an office pool somewhere for the IPL...
If so, I'm picking Mohali to go all the way.
Go Punjab Kings! Go Lady Vols!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
PMS? Yes
All of my "internet goodness" and "it's the cutest thing ever" crap from the last couple of days is soooo over. For now anyway.
For now I beg you, universe - for the love of ALL that is holy - please relay the following information.
I would do it myself, but the compilation of all their trivial jackassedry has caused me to crawl completely out of my skin.
1. New deli in my neighborhood:
Was my sandwich AWESOME?
Yes.
Was it so awesome that you needed to take 22 minutes to make it?
No.
Do you need to have signs up to show people where they're supposed to order and where they're supposed to pay since there isn't any other way for us to know that in THIS store these functions are supposed to occur in two different places since, you know, most people naturally gravitate toward the person at a cash register when they want to BUY SOMETHING?
Yes.
When we're all standing in line in front of the guy at the cash register should the rude woman behind the counter refrain from shouting at all of us to move over to her counter and instead let the guy at the cash register just keep on keepin' on since he's doing a good job and it, well, MAKES MORE SENSE?
Yes.
2. Inglewood Kroger:
Would the best place to put salad dressings be on the aisle with other condiments, oils, marinades and such?
Yes.
Would the best place to put salad dressings be on the aisle with the paper towels and toilet paper and on the backside of the laundry detergent aisle?
NO.
3. Myself
If you know you're going to work do think it would be a good idea to take your work keys with you?
Yes.
If you know that later in the afternoon you are going to have to be out and about and, who knows, maybe even get stuck at the new deli for a ridiculously long time and need to let someone know you're going to be late, do you think it might be a good idea to also bring your cell phone with you?
Yes.
When you're going by your house to drop of the salad and salad dressing you picked up at Kroger after getting lunch at the deli and you know that you're going to go back to work, should you walk off and leave your work keys AGAIN?
NO.
4. The complete cluster f*&k that is the series of schools crossing zones on a major thoroughfare / Main St:
Is it totally and completely 100% MY FAULT for choosing to drive down this street at 3:00 in the afternoon?
Yes.
That said, would it make more sense to wait until the light is red to escort children across the very busy street so that they don't grow up thinking that speeding traffic will always stop for them AND it doesn't take the rest of us 18 MINUTES TO GO THREE BLOCKS?
Yes.
5. Construction workers at 5th and Main St.:
Is it ANY of your business who I honk my horn at?
NO.
6. US Postal Service:
Is it polite to let someone know that postage is going up again AND completely mangle her copy of this month's Southern Living on the same day?
No.
Thank you. That is all.
For now I beg you, universe - for the love of ALL that is holy - please relay the following information.
I would do it myself, but the compilation of all their trivial jackassedry has caused me to crawl completely out of my skin.
1. New deli in my neighborhood:
Was my sandwich AWESOME?
Yes.
Was it so awesome that you needed to take 22 minutes to make it?
No.
Do you need to have signs up to show people where they're supposed to order and where they're supposed to pay since there isn't any other way for us to know that in THIS store these functions are supposed to occur in two different places since, you know, most people naturally gravitate toward the person at a cash register when they want to BUY SOMETHING?
Yes.
When we're all standing in line in front of the guy at the cash register should the rude woman behind the counter refrain from shouting at all of us to move over to her counter and instead let the guy at the cash register just keep on keepin' on since he's doing a good job and it, well, MAKES MORE SENSE?
Yes.
2. Inglewood Kroger:
Would the best place to put salad dressings be on the aisle with other condiments, oils, marinades and such?
Yes.
Would the best place to put salad dressings be on the aisle with the paper towels and toilet paper and on the backside of the laundry detergent aisle?
NO.
3. Myself
If you know you're going to work do think it would be a good idea to take your work keys with you?
Yes.
If you know that later in the afternoon you are going to have to be out and about and, who knows, maybe even get stuck at the new deli for a ridiculously long time and need to let someone know you're going to be late, do you think it might be a good idea to also bring your cell phone with you?
Yes.
When you're going by your house to drop of the salad and salad dressing you picked up at Kroger after getting lunch at the deli and you know that you're going to go back to work, should you walk off and leave your work keys AGAIN?
NO.
4. The complete cluster f*&k that is the series of schools crossing zones on a major thoroughfare / Main St:
Is it totally and completely 100% MY FAULT for choosing to drive down this street at 3:00 in the afternoon?
Yes.
That said, would it make more sense to wait until the light is red to escort children across the very busy street so that they don't grow up thinking that speeding traffic will always stop for them AND it doesn't take the rest of us 18 MINUTES TO GO THREE BLOCKS?
Yes.
5. Construction workers at 5th and Main St.:
Is it ANY of your business who I honk my horn at?
NO.
6. US Postal Service:
Is it polite to let someone know that postage is going up again AND completely mangle her copy of this month's Southern Living on the same day?
No.
Thank you. That is all.
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